Simplicity Redefined

Secret Blogging

2006-01-22T11:48:00.000-08:00

Now, that no one is watching....i can write..:P
well..not exactly...but just that something new has started...
and it is very very SECRET!!..
so hssssssssshhhhh!!!

An Abstract Event Horizon

What was that on my list?
saw it with both eyes...
could not make head or tail of it,

was alone, with just the 2 of us
me and the alter ego,
who by the way is my GOD!

talked at length, whispered in short,
stained him with my pain!
talked back to me, telling me to forget,
the ways of the past!

Walls fell, gave me a new horizon,
the sun rose beyond the new boundary,
Have made myself clear,
will be me, for me and no on else!
-myself :-P

"Yeh hai meri kahani
Khamosh zindagani
Sannata keh raha hain
Kyon zulm seh raha hain

Ek dastaan purani,
Tanhaye ki zubani
Har zakhm khil raha hain
Kuch mujhse keh raha hain

Chubte kante yaadon ke
Daaman se chunta hoon
Girtee deewaron ke
Aanchal mein zinda hoon

Bas yeh meri kahani
Benishan nishaani
Ek dard beh raha hain
Kuch mujhse keh raha

Chubte kante yaadon ke
Daaman se chunta hoon
Girtee deewaron ke
Aanchal mein zinda hoon

(poetry, recited by John Abraham)

Ab na koi paas hain
Phir bhi aehsas hain
Syahiyon mein uljhi padi
Jeene ki ek aas hain
Yaadon ka jungle yeh dil
Kaanton se jalkar yeh dil

Chubte kante yaadon ke
Daaman se chunta hoon
Girtee deewaron ke
Aanchal mein zinda hoon…"

- Anwar Maqsood (Music by Strings) (Zinda OST)

The Rock Ballad Anthem of the Year!!
Enjoy!!

And then...

2005-11-18T11:09:00.000-08:00

there has been a day when Pritam shouted at me...actually...literally
the wonderful thing about it was that although I know was right...
I also believe that Pritam was even more right...!!!

Sometimes, you need to know where you look...
Thanks...Pritam,
Sorry...Guys!!

How about...

2005-10-30T23:10:00.000-08:00

...Voice Blogs?
Well, they have the potential to be the 'in' thing in the future.
Imagine listening to a blog with insightful dialogues punched with vociferocity and the tradmark of a sly remark. You would definitely get the feel for it.

As far as I am concerned, I am having the busiest phase of my life.
I am applying to foreign universities.
I am busy with 3 projects.
I am busy with course work.
I am busy with the paper to be submitted for publication...(God Help ME!!)
I am busy with the band with a novel idea with the potential to become a dream project.
I may not be spending enough time with my friends (SORRY!!) but I am definitely spending a lot more time with my girlfriend! (Sorry again...only to friends...:-P)

The current musical pieces influencing me are 3 pink floyd tracks that have never lost their charm ever...in fact....all pf tracks are so painfully melodiuos that you have got to "listen" to them.

Coming back to life (1994)

Because the things you say and the things you do surround me
While you were hanging yourself on someone else’s words
Dying to believe in what you heard
I was staring straight into the shining sun
Lost in thought and lost in time
While the seeds of live and the seeds of change were planted
Outside the rain fell dark and slow
While I pondered on this dangerous but
I took a heavenly ride through one silence
I knew the moment had arrived
For killing the past and coming back to life

Wish you were here (1975)

How I wish, how I wish you were here.
We're just two lost souls swimming in a fish bowl, year after year,
Running over the same old ground.
What have you found?
The same old fears.
Wish you were here.

Learning to Fly (1987) (Listen to this early in the morning and you get all the positive energy)

Ice is forming on the tips of my wings
Unheeded warnings, I thought I thought of everything
No navigator to guide my way home
Unladened, empty and turned to stone
A soul in tension that’s learning to fly
Condition grounded but determined to try
Can’t keep my eyes from the circling skies
Tongue-tied and twisted just an earth-bound misfit, i

Ajinkya and me

2005-09-15T07:15:00.000-07:00

Ajinkya: why
Ajinkya: why not
Rahul: good answer
Rahul: y not die before the midsems..
Rahul: nice way to end ones life
Ajinkya: i don't want to end one's life
Ajinkya: i like one
Ajinkya: i would like to kill 100
Rahul: naah...100 is cute
Rahul: let us kill shweta
Ajinkya: maybe 02002001?
Ajinkya: shweta shah?
Rahul: 02002001 is alias for rahul
Rahul: yeah
Rahul: so..02002001 is dead
Ajinkya: why
Ajinkya: she is fine
Rahul: let us smash her head into smithereens and scatter the remains on the main road to convi
Rahul: convo
Ajinkya: what's the matter
Ajinkya: why so violent
Rahul: no...wait..
Rahul: let us cut apart all of pj's limbs and make her cry
Ajinkya: why
Ajinkya: i like her
Rahul: yeah...even i like her..
Rahul: so..let us grab hockey sticks..and beat ourselves...
Rahul: until we are repeating the words.....Joker Joker Me Me
Ajinkya: ok
Ajinkya: joker joker me me
Ajinkya: i am done
Rahul: ok....so let us take pursha and slingshot him into hells darkest caves
Rahul: u said i am done..
Rahul: that means u r not done
Ajinkya: yes lets do that
Rahul: let us all hide in a pregnant woman's womb and kick her and then give her joy
Ajinkya: ok
Ajinkya: whatever you say
Ajinkya: anything for you
Rahul: not for me
Rahul: for the pregnant woman
Rahul: I am done
Rahul: tata!

Not to Write...but want to Register

2005-09-11T13:13:00.000-07:00

Dates?

27th April, 2005
10th Sep, 2005

Numbers and Events?

Approx. 2200
Approx 10
Exactly 4
Exactly 240
3A
3B
Monitors?
Investiture Ceremony
First Glance?
Weird Ticket Counter...

Places?

Mocha
Huma
Churchgate
Marine Drive

Tu Jahaan Main Wahaan
Sab Sadiyon Chalu Tere
Jaise Tera Aasma
Salaam Namaste

When I Actually Felt
that
I have such wonderful people around me
She makes me love my friends even more!
How can that be the Dark Side of the Force?
:-P

Photo Blogs

2005-08-31T01:21:00.000-07:00

Seems like a new fad?
Maybe..

There are things you believe that might be actually true...

Who knows...
Who decided Why Not?
Royal Lines?
Princess?
Bad Poem?
The Sweetest Smile?
Sight of Life?
Regret?

Who decided that Double Nelson shall have such an impact on me?
Who decided that I should be hot tempered?
Who decided that I have some people so close to me...that I could not cry for them?
Who decided that there are people who reciprocate?

Pritam bought me a ChocoBar

2005-08-26T21:36:00.000-07:00

Yeah...I wanted to take a break from this blog...and that too on a very happy note.
So, the title that happened after Harsha's treat.

Its wierd. I realized that I can be quite submissive. But, currently, I don't mind being that. In the future, I would want to change that.

I will keep posting snippets/poems which mean too less for others to read.
At the same time, I am working on something very private, which will probably materialize in December.

"Wind asked me once, who'd u care for the most & I whispered ur name. So each time u feel the breeze, just remember, it's me saying 'Good Night'"

Bye

SomeHow it makes sense

2005-08-07T09:51:00.000-07:00

I realised in waiting that,

my relationships with people dont need to be decided by what others say,
but by what I feel about them,

I am the master of my side of the relationships.
I better make it right.

I dont need to depend on others to tell me what I should feel about a particulat person,

It was a frustration to realize that I can't meet people when I want them to,
but I am sure, it would be the happiest moment to cherish for a long time when the meeting finally happens..:P

Po lies on my table....
Tinky-Winky, Laa Laa and Dipsy are in their land for now.

The small piano was simply too spectacular,
Thanks Pursha and Shweeeetu,

Malhar was disastrous....

and now since, I have a relationship to attend to,
I say bye for the time being,

I think I might end this blog.

Royal Lines

2005-07-17T08:38:00.000-07:00

Tried so hard to tell you this,
Tried my best not to hide this,
Tried so hard to do everything right,
Lied at best to make you feel alright...

Fleshy hands desire your company in sight,
The eyes of your dreams hide my plight,
You would know the romance desired,
If you would believe every word fired,

In a lonely urbane world, your ghosts pay me a visit,
Flip the coin, to see the other side, "Oh! Just flip it",
Cried me on a slight delay, of hands and mind,
I clutch myself, on the sight of a vertical alloy...

Smell your sweet hair, brought in by the wind,
Knew your presence was a step away, I knew I would find,
Pinched myself to know the exact state of mind,
To see reality escape from motions of every kind....

See my happy walk and take this step with me,
Pluck a fruit from the tallest branch of this tree,
Carry me forward with gentle hops, for a mile
Bowl me over with thy cherished smile...

There is a message in the sky, written for you,
The clouds dare not hide the words, so real, so true,
Tempted my lips were to say, that reside in the blue,
Never imagined the greatest joy would be mine, of every hue

Tickle the senses in this lost mind of mine,
Blind I have become, seeing your presence in fine wine...
Sweet dulcets of your lovely words, I hear in the water,
Oh! Tried so hard to just find you all this while, in this mine

Wait a trifle, the senses shall arrive,
A reason you shall find to dance and jive,
My good side shall come calling, in a moment of time,
Ways of a simple manner, shall they tell you in mime...

I met your shadow on a day, when I doused myself,
your presence made me wet with a lifetime of dryness,
I wonder and think, I ponder and shudder,
This city makes me feel romanced without you...

Absence of this fact, Presence of the memory,
Lines written for none other but a girl I know,
Put my second face in a shell, lest it be on display,
I know I hide, I know I protect, I know I care,

The night of insomnia, for a chance of remembrance,
A silhoutte of light made me see your face,
Seats on which, the body lay motionless, in a trance,
now cry for company, for the second soul, for your ghost...

House my love, in the Royal Kingdom, of thy life...
Fool around with my soul to make me feel yours,
Rest in the zest, with every whiplash of your eyes,
The barrier would not separate two worlds, two minutes apart...

\../ (Who is the Master)

2005-07-08T03:52:00.000-07:00

It is a weird feeling...
you know, there is something lodged at the pit of my stomach...

So, How Does it Feel...
...after having been a part of the biggest and greatest musical extravaganza ever organised. The world saw it on TV. A fortunate few got the oppurtunity of a lifetime to be present in person. I was one of them, made possible by LN who supposedly is a lucky charm to go around with, considering the fact that she won tickets for 2 other concerts. But this one was the most important and magical of them all. On the monday, just the weekend before the concert, A
yahoo buzz comes in sight from Edinburgh. I tell her of my plans to go to Hyde Park in any case, ticket or no ticket (a situation that would have been totally hopeless). It is that very instant she drops this bomb of the tickets.

Oh! Goddess LN! I Bow to thee!!

A Saturday rendezvous at the Victoria Coach Station is planned. I make sure that I wake up real early so that I don't miss 211 again!! But, things go as planned and about an hour later we are in my room. After some careful whispers, so as to not awaken Guillem, we set upon our destination. Aman is woken up from his deep sleep (He too has the tickets!!) and he tells us that he will be there later. Hyde Park is a gigantic park and we had no idea as to the exact place. But, we followed the crowd and 2 hours later, we are inside...inside the magical kingdom of music which still had 2 hours to show off its mystical granduer. After impatient howlings and drab live videos from the other Live 8's already commenced, it was eventually time for the London Live 8 to come alive!

The Start with Sir Paul McCartney and U2.
Sgt. Pepper was peppy and the crowd instantly came alive with the rendition that included even Bono. His enthusiasm for stage performances was a treat to watch. U2 mesmerised everyone with one love, vertigo and strangely enough even Unchained Melody (Bono had a smile all through this one song).

Coldplay was royal music all the way. In My Place was in the lips of every person in the crowd. They combined forces with Richard Ashcroft (not sure of the name), the Verve Guy for a special encore on the BitterSweet Symphony. They ended it with a soulful cry of Fix You from their latest album X&Y.

The concert had begun on a right note, atleast for me, and I could not have dreamt of a better start. However, there was a catch. LN had a bus for Edinburgh to catch at 10 pm and Pink Floyd was scheduled to perform at 9:30 pm. She was sad and I believe she even cried as she would not get to listen to the Gods. More on this later...

Then, there were some soft songs by Ms Dynamite, about whom I had and still have no idea. The music was lilting and being black brought some emotions too in her as the last song was more of a plea than a song. Nice Job!!

Dido was up next and I believe that I have found someone apart from Preity Zinta now. Looks apart, her music has never failed to spin me around myself. I have reasons to believe that I actually see myself go around whenever I listen to her. I guess, that's why I am not excessively alcoholic myself. Life for Rent and White Flag saw her smile her way into the hearts of each and everyone in that 150,000 strong crowd. Her last song was a special one. Thank you, it was with a Senegalese musician who combined his traditional voice to give Eminem's favourite song a melodious touch.

The song Thank You was apt for the occasion and I am glad that Dido chose this song. It was also amazing to see that the prime motive of the concert was never forgotten. Sir Bob Geldorf always managed to stir up the crowds through images, videos and actual people. The times are bad for these people and it is important that people contribute in any manner possible to raise the awareness. Sir Bob might have had some personal motive, maybe even money, to organise such a large scale event, but then atleast the idea stays promoted. My motive behind attending this event was pure pleasure and there was not even a monetary contribution from my side. I felt I was wrong somewhere, but for me, it was my only chance to see my Gods and any such apprehensions disappeared completely in a jiffy whenever they came to mind.

The next performer was Keane, a cold cousin of Coldplay. I had just heard 2 songs of Keane before I heard them again here and I must say that they are pretty good. Somewhere only we know and BedShaped are 2 really melliflous compositions. However, the prime problem with Keane, I believe, is that their songs are not really different from each other. They need more diversity. They need one more musician in their band. Sir Elton John was just plain happy that he was on stage. He combined his funny antics with some good music and had everyone cheering for him all throughout. I was disappointed, though, that Candle in the Wind was forgotten.
Stereophonics was proper metal and perfectly harmonic metal. Their music was simple and charming. More of a hybrid variety of Green Day!! Annie Lennox had never had me as her audience, so I can't really comment on her. But Aman thought that her show was
the show for the night for him, more than even the Pink Floyd. Snoop Dog was R&B and it seemed as though the entire nation sang with them. Their Who-let-the-Dogs-out type compositions had everyone singing to their tunes. Even though, I knew nothing about their songs, I thoroughly enjoyed every bit of their bad boy lyrics...

REM was superb. Man on the moon and Everybody Hurts showed why REM is one of the most under-rated bands. Their class was very much evident, which has failed to translate into prime popularity for them. Some other Brit bands not worth mentioning came onto stage, that included The Killers, The Scissor Sisters, Razorlights and they were simply loved by the huge audiences, esp the Killers. UB40 was a bit boring but then who doesn't like Red Red Wine and Can't Help Falling in love with You. Their reggae compositions were first heard by me when they performed at the FilmFare Awards! All I can say is that they are different and a huge crowd like the one at Hyde Park wouldn't be easy on them.

Mariah Carey was CRAP. Rubbish. Garbage. Utter Filth. Ugly Music. Accumulated Trash that smells like SeaFood gone bad.

Madonna was stupefying. I have heard only a few songs by her. But her stage show is simply a different experience. Ray of Light was a revelation and Music had the longest clap of hands that could ever have been conjured. She just wouldn't relent!!!

Robbie Williams....Now I am scared to admit this but he was AMAZing...Believe me, it is the stage show that has completely endeared me to his music. Feel was the new mantra for me and We Will Rock you definitely reminded me of the Legend himself. I think he might just have found a fan...not as much for his music...as for his rocking performances.

Sting was fantastic and I don't think I have seen a more non-chalant performance ever. Pick up the guitar. Oh! let us call a drummer tooo...Bassist will you join us? Let us start now! SOS...Every Breath you take was charming and royal.

The Who was tremendous. Although I was a bit disappointed that they didn't play Baba O'Riley...:((
But their songs are incomparably lively and music just pops out from their guitars.

The moment had arrived...but something had happened 2 hours prior. As I had mentioned that LN had to catch a bus for Edinburgh so she left, saddened, just as the Scissor Sisters were about to start. I felt a bit selfish in taking her back to the Victoria Coach Station, but I felt bad for her and convinced myself that it wouldn't be that bad after all even if I missed the last few performances. But then LN was also sure that she would find her way back and I needn't worry. On reaching the main gate, I left her, making sure that she could atleast make her way back by
following the crowd. I went back a bit disappointed that I had acted selfishly in a way, but then again it was the biggest thing of my life and I wanted to carry home a good experience. I went back inside into the main area pretty much in the front again. It was time to \../ again.

It was 11 pm and time for Pink Floyd.

Would you know how it feels to be in the presence of Gods? Maybe not. But Now I know. I revere them and did so there too. I was in complete admiration as I stood rooted to my spot with my recorder held up straight in the air to record the magical moment. My Dream had come true. Breathe was mesmerising and Money really sounded so much better with Roger Waters on the bass. Wish You were Here was definitely the highlight of the day for me with Roger Waters as the second vocals and on the second guitar. Comfortably Numb had me searching for motions as I cried in total desperation to hunt for something to react to. I had been painfully numbed by the melody of the haunting aura that surrounded the entire song.
I was in heaven for 3 days.
I had lost all track of the entire software that runs this mind of mine.

I was in Watford the next day to meet some of my Mom's childhood friends, but all I could think was the night before, even when Roger Federer smacked the hell out of Andy Roddick.

And then on Monday, I sent across a Yahoo message to LN about the moments she had missed. But Guess what....she had seen it all. There was a special service for Edinburgh at 2 am the following day and as soon as she heard about this, she ran back to Hyde Park and was a part of the magic till the end. I felt so happy for her and truly felt that there was someone else that was controlling the path my life was taking. I had a laptop, a memory stick, an amazing project, mazing people all around me, Aman and gang and the concert to cherish for the remainder of my life. Was this too Good?

And then yesterday, London won the bid for the Olympics. It was such a happy scenario all around me. A few days ago, I spoke to Princess and told her that the good luck was seriously surprising. I told her that I needed some bad luck to compensate for this windfall. She admonished me in a way and I think I was quiet after that. But something was wrong....

I write this on the day the heart of London is rocked by 7 bomb blasts.
Is there more?
I wonder....

The French

2005-07-04T02:26:00.000-07:00

This was after the concert of a lifetime...

What am i doing?I am sitting in a dark room with my spanish room mate having a good night's sleep. The laptop screen is blaring white and I am listening to What if?

20 minutes back...

I am on the road and looking upto Aman's room to check in whether he is sleeping or not...2 rooms farther....I see Yann waving frantically at me...It seems he has company and they are having a good party.He rushes down to get me inside the hall.
He enquires about the concert and all.Of course, I have seen heaven and just stand speechless...He understands when I look dreamily into the sky.
He asks me innocently, "How about some wine?"Now, I was tired but couldn't say no to liquor.
I came into the rooms and met 2 french girls and 2 guys.
The French have a very romantic way of greeting even strangers.One of the girls who was reclining, got up immediately and gestured for a kiss on the cheek.I did that and moved back, almost tumbling back.In the meantime, her other cheek was forward and I exclaimed, "Oh! The other one too!"...She giggled and remarked in an inebriated fashion, "I am French, u c!"
The same thing repeated with the other girl (i.e. the pair of kisses)
I met the 2 guys normally...(Thank God! I didn't kiss them!)
We had some fine wine and enjoyed talking to them.They wanted me to the join them at the pub for which they were about to leave.Had it not been for my excruciating pain in the ankles and knees, I would have definitely gone especially with the drunken french girl..;-)

My company always succeeds in surprising me!
I am having the time of my life....

Operation Mindcrime

2005-06-30T12:25:00.000-07:00

Once upon a time, There was a naked woman who decided to get some clothes.
Her first attempt was to actually work to buy the clothes. But, then she realized that there would hardly be anyone willing to offer a decent job to a naked woman. She had long decided that she would practice celibacy throughout her life. So, prostitution was out of the picture. A cloth after having stripped her soul was unacceptable to her. A decent job was unavailable as everyone thought that she was crazy to be naked in the first place.

A store was looking for mannequinns, and when they heard her request to stand in as a live statue, they immediately accepted her. So, she was given the most beautiful of clothes, and allowed to stay in any part of the shop, but not allowed to move at all, once she settled somewhere. A few days hence, and she grew tired of living an object's life. There was no freedom in being clothed in this 'fashion'.

So, she resigned and set out on finding a more suitable profession. Ogling eyes had become a constant companion. There was no respite from the glaring eyes of all the animals. Walking the road of emptiness lead her nowhere but only a few crossings where she came across more roads. She could not find a pit stop.

Finally, she came across a charity organization, involved mainly with women who wanted to make more out of their life.
Although it is a different story that she left the place when they asked her body for satisfying their carnal pleasures.

She left in the direction of the high seas. Up on the rocks, high above the cliff, she realized that life in the water was for her and she jumped. She swam across the oceans and enjoyed the rough waters and grey skies and her devouring companions.
It dawned on her that she wanted fins rather than legs. So she dived down and on reaching the ocean floor held her breath for a long time.
Months passed and finally Neptune took pity on her and granted her fins.

Half a century later, she wanted to get back to land after having minutely scrutinzed the watery life. Once again, she dived down and undertook a penance for months.

Neptune decided that a 2nd wish couldn't be granted. So he proclaimed,

"Life on the seas, of blue kingdoms and travellers in mirth,
you have enjoyed , but now decide to give it all up in a spurt!
Lands shall view your nakedness with eyes opened wide!
I curse you with a half-life, u shall lay in stone with no pride..."

And the Mermaid was born...

Operation Mindcrime was in my ears.
Pyschedelic Hell has begun today.
The final shape and form shall be manufactured after a few months.

Otherwise, who cannot be happy after being given a USB memory stick, an old laptop and tickets to the greatest Rock concert of all time...all for free.
My naked lady shall see me when I turn into stone after Hell!

2005-06-24T05:21:00.000-07:00

The Moon and ME

Agony

2005-06-23T13:58:00.000-07:00

After 3 days of fun and confusion and chaos and good work,
came along a day of pure melancholy....

I was to blame for the total lack of sense devouring my mind. A minor defect had come into the picture and the brain refused to acknowledge it.

The day started with me listening to Coldplay which was the fun part, but then I immersed myself completely into the music resulting in a delay of my report. There were eventual printer problems and I was late for the meeting at 12 pm by 15 minutes. The fact that my superviser had to come down and look for me made matters worse. The other superviser who was the strict one with respect to time didn't have much to say because he knew I would be late as had happened the previous 3 times.

There lies the fundamental flaw in me. I am not the best person to stick for time. I absolutely don't mind being 15-30 minutes late. Now, I realize it to be the most pathetic thing to possess. Often I have repeated to myself that time is money, however, I fail to realize the worth of the loss that I might incur for my carelessness.
I have been irresponsible in the past like for e.g., the destruction of the 2 library books and the police episode where DASA and the gang had to face the brunt. I need to breathe in a new kind of understanding into my conscience. But it is mighty difficult to do that, especially considering that you don't know where your conscience lies?

The meeting went well. I felt proud when I answered back Dr. Lee's question with maximum confidence. Future work was decided with lots of inputs from my side. A publication was discussed with much authority and I thought I had found a direction to look forward to.

But, I know there is a high probability of losing the sight as I once wrote for Why Not? My own fears might come true. I have this scary thought of not knowing what to do and why to do what i would do.

The other day, I was sharing my future plans with someone close. Although, I added a few humorous thoughts, it didn't take me long to realize that I was clueless as to what I wanted to even aim at! My own thoughts betrayed me at that point.

I came back to Shweeeetu on Yahoo with her 'lauls' and ':-P'. I told her something that could have been true and fearful. I told her not to discuss it as I had a slight premonition about losing it! I lost it eventually and even bet on it. I would be glad to lose it and treat her at Birdies! Why is there a fear of something scary happening? Why can't I be brave and strong-hearted about people around me? Why is there this feeling of constant loss? Is it because I am in a foreign place? I don't believe that because the novelty of the city has likened me to it and I am enjoying this place.

Has the dark side really changed me?
The answer probably lies in the aloofness of it all. I once told someone that I needed my own space and hence I would not shift rooms. Today, I realize that I have all the space for myself yet I am in need of company. Of Course! I would never shift rooms but I need to pre-define my spaces.

At this juncture, I was reminded of the beautiful night at Rennnaissance; Pursha, Pc, shweeeetu and me! The Scientist was in motion, Chopsticks were learnt!, Mocha was enjoyed, there was love.

"So here we were sitting in the lounge (a bar, actually) just outside the Chinese Restaurant, listening to this couple perform on stage. The guy on keyboards and the lady singing. Pursha and Shweta, out of nowhere, suddenly,came up with this idea of putting me on stage. I initally had my doubts, but then I agreed to do something stupid, provided, the couple agreed to let me....!!!.........

........RUM followed and Chinese soup, starters and Food was served and we had a good time, considering that we even got a live tutorial on "How to eat with Chop-sticks?" from our attendant.........

.........Wait, I didn't add the fact that me and Pursha were getting bored by the swimming pool while Shweta and Pc were busy loitering in the secret garden by the lakeside. Hammocks were almost torn apart..;-) and perfumes lapped up on crazily,small litmus papers!!...Then There Existed a Small Place known as Mochas very near the Bandra church, which by the way has a small flower shop by the side and the way from over there leads us towards the sea!!!.. This seems like a nice place to propose to someone...;-)...Pursha, are you listening..oh!!...or is it Ajinkya!!?? ...........

........2 Pianomen, 2 Coffees, 1 Lava?? and a bowl of finger chips later, it was time to feel sorry for Pursha...He is the best man around...I hope he gets what he wants...That doesn't mean...I want to spend a night with you, Pursha!!! I guess you are happy with Pc, Akshay and the sophies!!"

This was my first experience at Mocha!

I want to do something like this again. I just want this thing. Can it happen agan?
The 4 of us?
Of Course, Why not and all friends are welcome to join in.
But can this happen again?

I will buy 3 pastries from Birdies, whether I lose or win!
Shweeeetu probably got irked by my banter and left soon. Suddenly, I did not feel well. I desired some people around me. Yann was busy at the lab and Kurosch had already left. I had this weird idea of starting a conference with all my school friends in it. The time and place was decided. I was happy for a few moments, but totally out of sync with my comments spoken 30 minutes before that.

Tell me, Is there a problem if I doubt my own friends?
All I am doing is keeping a watchful eye.
I have yet to develop the trust factor because I have been forced to think like this throughtout my life!
Sometimes I have horrifying ideas of not being able to trust my own parents!
and Doom's Day shall arrive when I would have lost trust on my own hands.

The troublesome day continued. I needed to clean my glass powder with a magnetic stirrer, but I was afraid the alcohol would dissolve a bit of my sample and I would lose it. Chemistry had withdrew its lines through my brain, so I thought I should contact Dr. Hill whose idea it was in the first place. But as luck would have it, he was nowhere to be seen. I waited for an hour and then decided to carry out the cleaning the next day. When I informed Dr. Jones about this develpoment, he mocked at me saying , "why do you have to wait for Dr. Hill? What did he say the last time you met?". I answered a bit scared now, "Put the powder in.....................and thats it". Julian replied back perkily, "Then DO IT" I replied in my mind, "What if the alcohol takes away my powder with it?". Why didn't I have the courage to say this?
The powder is probably dissolved and I have lost about half of my sample.
I should have used Isopropyl instead of ethyl!
There lies the other fear! I am hesitant to act on my observations. This is probably why I am and was never good at debates! I fear the unknown replies and mocking glances. I am afraid of the death of the thought and the murder of its reason.
Blood annoys me the most and Competitors deter me to behave in an unrecognizable manner.

The conference was a flop as well and I was also in no mood to carry on with it, so It was postponed.
I missed my parents on chat because I was busy introspecting my future cleaning devices.
Further talk on yahoo didn't have any effect on me.

I came home and ate a distasteful bowl of thai rice and half-baked pizza.
I thought of myself as a loser for the day.

At precisely 10 pm, I decide....
I decide to be a winner. I want to ask everyone everything!
I want to be onmiscient.
My ignorance has led me to feel defeated. My failure lies in refusing to see what I see.
"Why not?" shall be rejuvenated.
I will learn to believe in my own beliefs!

This is the moment when certain people would ask for a drink or two. But All I want is the desire.
This blog took me a long time to write.
I know why.....
This is because I needed to come out of my shell.
I have faith in tranforming my notions.
This is also a publicity stunt. I need to project my idea through what I write.
As I said, the fears have to vanish.

On logging on to my account, I first opened varta.iitb.ac.in for newsgroups and went straight to humour and I knew that the trials had begun

Rupaben....----> "Huve reva de reva de, chaar mahina thaya.......tu to pillow ni upar thi jump na karisaiko........to deewal uparthi su jump karvano !!!"

and I laughed out loud.
It has been long since I wrote a verse.

I did, however, frames were not worth the verse that were to be sung.
Hence, It remains a secret.

I will carry on!

Speed of Sound

2005-06-18T09:56:00.000-07:00

I am listening to Speed of Sound by Coldplay.
2 weeks back, I scolded Coldplay for having composed a song similar to Clocks!
But now I realize that for me, this song represents a misguided personal attempt to be someone that I am not!
I adore this song now!
I came down to the college just to listen to this song!
I saw all the videos of coldplay again thanks to Yahoo!

Only 1 reaction!
Where were you Coldplay?
Why did you desert me?
You give me reason to dance my way back to my house!
The goosebumps are inevitable!
Why does the discman not work with batteries!!!!
:-(((((((((

I cried alone!
I wrote 2 blogs!
It is evening in this city of grandeur!
Yet, I have forgotten where the grandeur lies?
The music echoes in my mind again and again!

Tomorrow, I meet a friend again!
That is why I am happy for 5 minutes!
and day after that, I go to the Oval!
The speed of sound is beyond my life!
It is beyond the stage!

Pursha!
PPS!
I beg you!
We need to perform this song!
Plz...
I want to go through the same motions which I went through for Amsterdam!
I know you were happy that day!
I want you by my side!

"How long before I get in?
Before it starts, before I begin?
How long before you decide?
Before I know what it feels like?
Where do, where do I go?
If you never tried, then you'll never know.
How long do I have to climb,
Up on this side of this mountain of mine?Look up, I look up at night,
Planets are moving at the speed of light.
Climb up, up in the trees,
every chance that you get,
is a chance you seize.
How long am I gonna’ stand,
with my head stuck under the sand?
I’ll start before I can stop,
before I see things the right way up.And all that noise, all that sound,
all these pieces that I have found.
And birds go flying at the speed of sound,
to show you how it all began.
Birds come flying from the underground,
if you could see it then you'd understand…Ideas that you'll never find,
all the inventors could never design.
The buildings that you put up,
Japan and China all lit up.
The sign that I couldn't read,
or a light that I couldn't see,
something’s you have to believe,
but others are puzzles, puzzling me.And all that noise, all that sound,
all those pieces that I have found.
And birds go flying at the speed of sound,
to show you how it all began.
Birds come flying from the underground,
if you could see it then you'd understand,
Oh when you see it then you'll understand…All those signs, I knew what they meant.
Something’s you can invent.
Some get made, and some get sent,
Ooh…Birds go flying at the speed of sound,
to show you how it all began.
Birds came flying from the underground,
if you could see it then you'd understand,
oh, when you see it then you'll understand…

-The Speed of Sound (Coldplay)

The Book Shop

2005-06-16T15:16:00.000-07:00

I came across this book shop near Gloucester Road station,

Selling pretty cheap books!!
20p
£1
and so on...
This counter was outside the shop with no view for the shopkeeper.
He had no camera nor even a mirror to keep a watch on these books!

I groped around for a few good ones...
I found a decent £1 book - Total Control...
some techno thriller....
promises to be good...

I went inside
I told him, "Did you know that anyone can just run away with your books?"
He replied with a sly smile, "Naaah! No one does that".
"But i was about to...", Said I with a confidence of an accomplished thief!

All he could do was smile again!
Those 2 minutes of an englishman's smile were precious.

I am famished by the lack of lustre in my life!
I have to wake up!
I have so many people around me.
and did anyone realize that
It is very difficult to stare with one eye open...

:-

Tippity Tippity Tup Tup

2005-06-11T12:03:00.000-07:00

Tippity Tippity Tup Tup,
golden sand in a cup,
May I have this dance with you?
Oh!, of course, You may!, let's start on the count of 3!

Off We go!, left and right and one ahead!,
back we go, two in front, right and left,
Hold my hand, watch me in the eyes!
spin me around, take me in your arms!
All the couples, join me in clapping,
a one, a two, a three and a four!
Off We go!, left and right and one ahead!,
back we go, two in front, right and left,

left and north, soft and soft, we move to the right,
left and south, south and right,
soft and soft, we move to the right,
north and left, and then we swing!

swing and swing and swing me around,
I now know why you drew me around!
Tippity Tippity Tup Tup!

The symbols speak for themselves as I draw them!

---------------------------------------------------------

No. 1, Fire!
No. 2, Fire!
No. 3, Fire!
No. 4, Fire!
No. 5, Fire!
No. 6, Fire!

Horses and Horses,
A Lithuanian War Parade,
The Stones shall speak for me tomorrow!

Following the Da Vinci Code

2005-06-08T15:05:00.000-07:00

!ecrof eht fo edis krad eht eesrevo llahs thgil ehT
,esoR eht fo efil eht yb dediug
,seulc rof gnikool ,seireuq rof gnikool ,yawa petsrood a
,nimharb a dnif llahs selpmeT fo hcruhC ehT

!dnim ni emoc sah tseuqnoc a tuB
.3 ni taht enod evah dluos I wonk I!
sgnittis 5 ni edoC icniV aD ehT koob eht gnidaer dehsinif I

Just thought of having some fun!!

Dire Straits in Greenwich

2005-06-04T14:48:00.000-07:00

It was amazing,
The beautifully composed songs by Dire Straits,
Charming lyrics by Mark Knopfler,
All around this small village-town in south London,
All along the River Thames in the river cruise,
Even in the London Eye,

It seemed apt, u know y?
Coz, Mark himself says in the Sultans of Swing
we are in the south, in south london!!!!

And so it was...A Day of Fun!!
with Dire Straits and in a quaint little village along the magical river.

Tomorrow, a visit to the Shakespearean era.
Stratford-upon-Avon!!!
A writer was born 450 yers ago!!

The Incident...

2005-06-04T14:39:00.000-07:00

...I forgot to mention

Before I arrived at Evelyn Gardens, I didnt know that girls too live in the same place.
I always thought that they lived in an adjacent hall

The first morning,
I was in the bathroom, well,
there are 3 bathrooms out here lined in a group like in H2.
3 bathrooms for 4-5 students...thats decent, i guess,

I was having trouble with the shower, so I came out,
and bang, a lady enters through the main door,

I was staring straight at her, flabbergasted,
I almost thought that she was going to shout coz I had begun to believe that I was in the wrong bathroom.

But,instead, she was looking plainly at me..
and I said,"I am having trouble with the shower. Could you please turn it on for me?"
She entered and she turned it on and she left and all this while, I was looking at her.
Not becoz she was hot or anything, but it seemed so odd!!!
I dont why???

At Abbey Road...

2005-06-01T01:51:00.000-07:00

... The lady shall see me again.
All I need is a band...which I have,
some songs...which I have too,
and some really good friends...that too I have
And a good contact...which I dont have,

But things happen...

The Tarantula

2005-06-01T01:47:00.000-07:00

Yeah, there was one,

throughout the weekend,
making me feel irritated like hell,
there was a baby spider too,
although he was fun to be with,

and when one meets a friend not so well known,
you know you need to laugh with him,

I saw the scariest moment of my life,
how about a man doused in blood and with an ape like mouth standing right behind you when you have just walked in through a door?!!

I also met Sita the other day,
you feel happy when you can talk to a person without any inhibition.
She lives 3 doors away...

I miss one person terribly
Anonymous Anonymous!!!

Acoustics gone Bad!

2005-05-25T14:08:00.000-07:00

The piano is besuraaaa
Damn it...

One thing I wanted..and it is like being stolen from me...

Well...pianos seem to have an interesting history in th UK..

I went to the Geffrye Museum on sunday which is basically like a museum for interior decoration showcasing past and present english homes.

All the periods had one thing in common.
They all had pianos in their living room.

I took a photo of this cute little baby piano...:-D

Rem: - When a beautiful French or British Post Doctoral Research Lady smiles at you and say," Hi!!"....please reciprocate

which I did...although I don't remember
Non-English Europeans sound really funny when they speak english.
Sorry, Yann!!..:-P

Pink Floyd on the streets

2005-05-21T13:35:00.000-07:00

I suddenly realized why pink floyd could never have been anyone else that british.
Their songs on my discman, from kensington to chelsea,
Aaaaah..it feels heavenly...

Coudn't have felt more English!!
:-D

A Piano Exists

2005-05-21T12:57:00.000-07:00

The new hall has a piano...a Grand piano...
but the pain is that it is in the main room...so can't use it always...

the timing is awkward...
people are having exams now....
hence probably...they dont talk a lot...
in fact...I hardly see any groups of people...

I could go mad any day..
but then come along days like today...that are so cheerful...
I have to do this again...
will have to!!

Cricket?

2005-05-20T06:08:00.000-07:00

Should I play this game?

Dr. Julian Jones plays for some club in some club division cricket.
Well, he suggested that I could go in for some net practice and try out if there are any vacancies...
Hmm...some things to be thought about...considering the fact that I have lost about half of my cricket skills.

Dr. Robert Hill promised his wife that he would return home early one day, but couldn't do so and he got a firing, I guess. So, the next day, he went home early, leaving behind any of the results we could have obtained that day.

The Yogurts are a fantasy. Thank God for them!!!

Foreigner

2005-05-18T13:00:00.000-07:00

I am a foreigner.

I thought Sunday would be a landmark day, but I realised that each and every day is a landmark in itself.

I miss people. I really do.

I walk by the streets surrounded by castle-like structures and haunted by a multitide of cars.

I went to a dream location: - Royal School of Music just behind my department here and then towards the Royal Albert Hall, a place where yanni once performed.
I felt the pain when I realised that I was surrounded by a cartload of highly skilled musicians and me nowhere, just having baked beans, tarts and fries.

I asked the violonist, his fellow violonist and his girlfriend who was btw also a violonist. "What should I do to get into this school?"
His answer was a revelation that I can't be there. I just can't be there.
All I can do is have lunch at their dining room.
Thats all.

Maybe I will ask the violonist in the London Underground.

I have no idea as to why there are so many "I"s in this blog.
Maybe, this shows that I have become lonely.
I am not actually.
I am scared, not because of this city. It just can't be.
I am scared of not being able to complete the work I have come here for.
That includes total lukkha in England.
Maybe, I will explain this aspect some time later.

For the time being,
I am only a foreigner in London,
and you can come to know of the further details at http://englishvoyage.blogspot.com.

This would be the place where I psyche myself out, wheras the other place would be just a diary!!

Of Saxophones, mridangam & Nintendo GameBoy!

2005-05-11T11:08:00.000-07:00

The past 2 days have been hectic and fun....
After all, there was a wedding in the family!

Radiation Modeling was too hot to handle, but got through it safe and sound. The work is not complete, however, the unfinished work will be polished off tomorrow. Prof. Shevare has already guaranteed the full amount of the fine to me and has assured his support.

It had been years since I had met most of the family members, and occasions like these bring about such meetings. The bachcha party was a fun gang right from Karthik (NTU post-graduate engg. student) to Padma (all of 6 years!). In between, there were SMSs sent and recieved, one with a teddy bear and one with the "cutest and sweetest" post undelivered! Poems were sent and people were missed....

Swetha steps into a new home today with Ashwin. Her mother-in-law is a queer old lady, with tension writ large on her face, perennially. No wonder, migraine is a constant pain for her..;-)

Balaji and Satya soon became friends when they realized that they shared a common passion for the Nintendo Gameboy! Oh! Those Canadians..uh...well...Americans as well...
What did Boney M say?...Oh! Those Freaking Russians!!...:-D

Ankit was sad that he couldn't get the WWE CDs I had promised him. I guess Gaurav will be the sole recepient of those CDs. Sorry, Ankit!!, Apne bhai se chura lena...hehe...

Lalitha aunty was busy searching for Sunil's prospective wife. I, even, pointed out certain girls for her, but things didn't work out, and then she alongwith some of Mom's office colleagues started bickering about my marriage! Now that's something which is gonna take a long, long time!!

Oh! The saxophone was seriously sexy! If there is one instrument that I am desperate to learn apart from the piano, it has to be this heavy-wind instrument.

The food was awesome! From Medu Vadas to Thai Rice, it was simply amazing!!

On the day of the sangeet, I sang a song,
This was for Swetha,
Well, no marks for guessing,

Of course, "Le chalen" from you know which movie!
people loved it,
They were more surprised by the fact that I could actually sing!
:-)))

The Old Granny hugged me!
Kausalya Mami was all smiles,
There was an intensity which somehow, unintentionally displayed, was quickly observed by all,

Sangeet was Total Dhamaal!!

And then there were tears too,
Lifting up the bride to such a height whereby the groom would be helpless in garlanding her didn't help either,
the priests were adamant that the marriage should happen!!

And then I came home,
Saw MAD TV,
laughed,
am writing this now,

Watch this space for "Diaries from an English Journey!"

I leave on 15th morning....

Current Music:- My Favorite about 2 years back, "Just My Imagination" by the CranBerries!

Sonnets and Symphonies

2005-05-06T23:39:00.000-07:00

I have been listening to Bittersweet Symphony, The Sonnet & With or Without You for like 10 hours now...
It makes sense to tell people...yeah it does....

I feel like at the top of the world....
At present, everthing is going my way...well, almost...
not the best of exam results...
quite ok...

the person inside me, begs a tale to tell,
cries like a baby, makes me want to yell,
closing the doors, opening the mind,
learning the past, I knew I would find,

you are the one I want,
Fairies of the WonderLand fly past me,
Probing the light shining on me,
The Gift of a LifeTime, I knew I would have!

Klose Konsolation is on hand....
The identity exists....

Didn't realize I would be so ecstatic one day!!

:-DDDD

The New Dimension

2005-05-05T00:50:00.000-07:00

From CSIS Airport, Mumbai to some airport at Frankfurt, some people have left and probably landed there by now...

Destinations are not the same, but they will meet in time,

As I had said earlier, a definite change is inevitable, it has happened,
The change has taken place,

The communication gap wants to narrow down, increased personalized conversations are desired,

You see, when you know that you can write backwards, inspite of having written the simpler way, you pretty much are capable of doing a lot of stuff,
wat say pritam,

http://www.writebackwards.com

When Led-Zeppelin doesn't figure in a "Best of...." CD, you know something is wrong.
When pretences are exchanged, you know everything is wrong,
When you want to meet someone, and when the someone wants to meet you too, you know things could probably be right,
When you see yourself smiling at every statement of some dear friends, you know everything is right,

The Airport was fun,
The only possible reason for being sad could be that I am not leaving with some of the special friends that I have out here,
BioMedicine does beckon, but things can wait,
for there are a few more special occasions to be shared, this weekend, and the next week.

"See the Stone set in your eyes,
See the thorn twist by your side,
I'll wait for you,"

- With or Without you (U2)

A Double Mocha treat at Mulund and Powai
School friends were all pleased by the fact that there existed the mere presence of all the others, Gunda was discussed,
Some of them made it to the IIT Campus, but the sweet trip had to be cut short by the leopard who walked the shores of the lake.
Some day, my school friends will find their names on this blog.
For that to happen, I will need a flower-bud...
The flower-bud needs to bloom...thats all!...

So who shall give me that?....hmm...Let's see!

Powai Mocha....HAPPY BIRTHDAY....JHA***...
and other things followed.

As I write, the new dimension takes effect,
as Zen would say, "Whateverrr...Its cool, man!!"

The one with just 1 line....

2005-05-01T13:25:00.000-07:00

....coz there will be many more lines to write..!

Sight of Life

2005-04-28T09:55:00.000-07:00

This was for PJ on her birthday!
23rd April, 2005.

The song was written the previous day!

and it goes like this...

VERSE 1: -
On the wild morning,
right up there, on a park bench,
clinging on to a rest,
there was a lady, of my dreams,

Hair ruffled in the wind,
looking out with bent fingers,
silent eyes told the story,
there were tales untold!

As the children played,
old women gazed,
a smile found its way,
right into her golden heart,

CHORUS: -
The love of the moment had arrived,
The pulse of the beat had ceased,
The music of life had begun,
The turn of my life had shown through,

VERSE 2: -
She stood still with the times,
She had to admire her sight,
She could plan her steps,
She looked down at her motion,

Youth of her times were in sight,
The cry of joy,
she couldn't fathom,
the gift that was bestowed unto her,

Swerving past many of us,
She had a long way to go,
She looked back at us,
knowing that she could see her sight,

CHORUS(2)

(general ending)
The eyes smiled on seeing,
the heart fluttered on knowing,
the mind awoke on finding,
the sight of life!!

Radiation Modeling

2005-04-28T04:18:00.000-07:00

People have left....well...some of them will come back...before they again leave for their respective PT's....

Exams are over and so are 3 wonderful years of my stay at IIT Campus. One more remains!

Current status: -
PPS in Bangalore, will return and then head for Kanpur
Pursha in Pune, will return and head for Germany,
Shweeeetu in Pune again, will return and leave for Germany
pc in Jodhpur, will return..and...STAY..with Mahek??
DASA in hostel, will stay in hostel
Harsha in Vijayawada, will come back and accompany Pursha, :-D
Devesh in Mumbai, will tag along with PPS
Saumil with Madhura, will leave her company and do some systematic work in Bangalore
Priyanka in Jaipur, will directly proceed from there towards Bangalore, to be with a special friend, ;-)
Rishabh, loitering on Gorkha's bike in campus, will leave for Bangalore in a few days
Ajinkya, lost somewhere, will be in Mumbai, though,
Aashish in Australia, enjoying, will come back in July,
Akshay will...actually...I have no idea what he will be doing?...but atleast he will stay as "enigma"tic as he has been!!

The Sophies will enjoy in Mumbai.

I am currently in Aero CFD Lab, precisely, the same place, where this blog had begun!
Radiation Modeling is on! and I have my cousin's wedding on 11th May, my other cousin's thread ceremony on 13th and then on 14th, I leave for London!
This could possibly be the most straight-forward blog I have ever written!

To come back to the problem concerning the library books, that I had accidentally destroyed in the rains, there is a new lease of life! I had been to The Head of the Library Committee to discuss my plea, and he said in plain words, that the application wouldn't work. He told me to get a letter with "kind words" from my guide that would aide me in getting a reduction in the fine. Prof. Shevare listened to me patiently as I explained to him the entire life-history of the books. He, too, said in plain words, this wouldn't help him as the reduction in fine would mean that the waived portion would be collected from him. So he offered me a proposal.

"Work for me for a few days, Show me some satisfactory work and I will pay the fine for you."

I agreed...and thats what I am presently doing...Radiation Modeling

Rivaldo gave a new name to Priyanka....The Dusky Damsel and wrote the song "Ek Ladki ko Dekha.." in English and posted it on the group.
As for us, we came up with a song for her..."The Sight of Life" which by the way would be the next original for Why Not?
Drumming by PPS,
Music by Pursha,
Lyrics from my side

Current Status again: - 2 Songs ready and one more written by PPS

The drive to Bandra Mocha, Bandstand and Marine Drive was memorable.

And some people should learn to atleast keep their roses to themselves...:-))
;-)

and I have a date tonight...
hmmm...
Yeah...I think I have a date tonight!

Woh lamhe...

2005-04-19T12:25:00.000-07:00

No Doubt about it...the song of the moment for me...
though nothing can beat My Brother Nikhil...:-P

Woh Lamhe Woh Baaten,
Koi na jaane

Yeh kaisi raaten...oho..barsaathen,
woh bheegi bheegi yaaden...

-Zeher

the music is overwhelming...
It is so unnerving...
Here, I am, dreaming about someone and hoping that something happens,
and then I listen to this song...
This is one moment I cannot forget!

Why do I get involved with people and moments so much that I feel so tensed almost like for half of the time.
I find it depressing that sometimes people do not like someone as much as they could have or for that matter relations get strained due to some wierd reason..

I have to work on my relationship skills...be it matching Pritam's witty (sometimes...no mostly...nonsensical) statements, pc's somewhat true nature, Pursha's open heart, Dixi's painu but loving nature and all my special friends who know what to tell me as soon as they meet me...

Agar tum mil jaon
Zamaana chhod denge hum...

Tumhe paakar zamaaane bhar se tod denge rishta hum...

- Zeher

Adios

Whispers in the wind

2005-04-15T11:20:00.000-07:00

A Right Look!!

I longed for a white tile,
on which I could write a mile,
the forehead had the lines of sight,
Too sad, I couldn't see them even in the light!!

See my shadow on the dark side,
my senses didn't allow me to hide,
I saw your face with the utmost gleam,
I guess I lost my way into the realm,

The Girl made me see through her,
I shot my eyes about turn,
I was enchanted by the look of her eyes,
but was terrified of having the whys?

The candle blew in the calm,
No, I couldnt bear it, it was under my palm,
I thought I wanted a tile to pen my letters,
but all I wanted were the simple shelters.

Pengi was sad today after some valfi...
Dont be sad re...we are there for you...

As I said,
when the wind whispers to you..
when the moon smiles to you
just believe that you hear my voice..
and i am right next to you..
close your eyes and see me...
its not an illusion..but its really me..
i love you...i really do...

-from the movie "MY BROTHER NIKHIL"

I wanted to write a tribute to shweta and everybody I know..
but I want to delay this...
until..I really know..that I might not meet them for a long time...
But, Shweta is the sweeeeetest girl I know...
and I am really glad I know her...

I got hold of a CD today...of course, It was given to me by someone I didnt know really well in school...but things have changed now...
Its fun to be with these people...I guess I missed out on some aspects and some people...
:-((

My visa is done...
I am off to london....

before that I have my exams...
and the 15 day repentance program!!! ;-)

I know I am heading for a definite change...
But all I can say... is that I believe in myself,
I believe in all the people I know...

and I play the piano!!

Of well spent days & friendly company!!

2005-04-13T12:05:00.000-07:00

I found a great companion today in the Sonnet by The Verve. This urban hymn has totally mesmerised me.

I decided I should not contest for the Institute Placement Nominee after I calculated the oppurtunity cost. Its just too high, considering the fact, that Mocha and CCD would be far fetched dreams if I took the plunge.

I got a BTP under Prof. Khillar, the same prof. who counseled me into taking up Chemical Engg. Atleast, I know, my efforts will hold me up. Inspite of the obvious presence of an ulterior motive, I know it is not just about getting the oppurtunity, but making full use of it.

I just finished my last lab assignment!! :-D

I met GS at Nirmal a few hours back. It sometimes makes me wonder how things actually work out for the better, but I am still not aware of it. 3 months is not a long time..hehehehe

Who takes care of me?
My volatile nature is getting to me. I better find some solution. Music seems to be the answer. But then again, I hear this awesome piece of music by The Verve and feel like dancing with a lovely lady in my arms.

I look at the Moon and realise I can't see its other side!

In silent lucidity, I feel the presence. I am smiling

I-will be watching over you
I-am gonna help you see it through
I-will protect you in the night
I-am smiling next to you...in silent lucidity

- Queensryche (Silent Lucidity)

I have no clue as to what happened today!

2005-04-01T12:42:00.000-08:00

Bandra Mocha was to be fun...
instead we had a merry time at the police station...

In short, I got pulled over by a large group of policemen with pritam behind me and the next thing I know is that I am seated on a dusty red chair at the L&T police shed, palming my chin. Pritam suddenly walks over and when I ask him, he tells me that he came in a police van. That is when, I feel the pangs of guilt slash me with their sharp edges. I believe I let him down. In fact, I am almost sure that I let quite a lot of people down. Shweta got worried sick after Pritam messaged her some exagerrated details.

Damn it, those bobbies were so strict. They were incessantly relentless. I even got scared for a moment, when I was told that I would be in lock-up, although I was like almost sure that things wont be so bad as it seemed!

Somehow, after getting the owner charge waived and paymeny of some underhand money, we were let go and guess what, we went to Mocha, albeit the Powai one.

The only reason I feel sad is that Pritam had to travel in a police van and also the fact that pursha, pc, shaggy, dasa and karthik were robbed of some fun time at Bandra Mocha and the unnecessary tension they were burdened with. Although, I am completely sure, that they must have had some hearty laughs while I was at the Police station ;-)

I am happy coz I know I have some great friends out here, who are so much fun to be with. I doubt whether I would have such a company after July 2006. Thanks a lot, all of you...I don't want to take names...sorry for that..but I know thats the fair thing to do!!

OK...i will take the names of atleast those people who were there today with me!

Karthik, Thanks a lot for the blog thing...I know I can't write the way you did!
Sorry, couldn't treat you today!

pc, thanks for still considering staying with me!! :-D
Pursha, thanks for being there...!!!
DASA, thanks for being so nice to me, after I screwed up big time!!
Shaggy, thanks for driving us around, and sharing the fun!!!

Pritam, Thanks for not being mad!! I love you so much now!!
Next time, I promise, nothing of this sort will happen!! ;-)

DASA, again...I ask...the stupid question.."When do I get the bike next?"

I am happy for all of us!!
:-D

The nefarious side...

2005-03-27T11:35:00.000-08:00

... of me wants to express itself...

Well, Karthik and Pursha are disgruntled and unhappy. That's because I insulted and scolded them. Why would I ever do that?

Firstly, there has never been a fight amongst us and this fact doesn't tell a lot about our friendship. I couldn't even dream of seeing these 2 guys so sad, and I am almost sure, they aren't, but atleast, they have managed to bring about a small element of their anger onto me.

Secondly, I just wanted an excuse to tell them I am sorry!!

There has been a change in my perception especially after watching Zishaan's blog. His photos tell a story, not just one, but countless ones. Check out the link above.

A truly global view is hard to spot, but you know you have seen an awesome lot when you have seen "point and shoot".

I watched My Brother Nikhil alongwith Arindam, Adithi & Sunetra. The movie was awesome and the company was gregarious indeed. There were Subway Sandwiches and bets on naming 10 former students whom the other one wouldn't know. But sometimes people forget that when you organize a reunion, you pretty much know the entire batch, in any case....;-))

There were queer old moments and chats, however, it is always good to know new people. I still have my floaters which by the way shall soon become slippers :-D.

The blinking dot has become a smudge on the radar screen, however, it still points towards a good direction.

There are many ways to attract people. For the time being, I think I should concentrate on placating Karthik and Pursha!!

Acoustic Dusk, March 15th 2005

2005-03-18T10:45:00.000-08:00

The popular rock nite of the insti had another edition. Needless to say, Why not? participated, and as usual, we had fun. Although I was disappointed that we didn't perform Sometimes I feel like Screaming, the response to our original composition lifted my spirits. It was, however, not the most perfect rendition. Mid-way I lost track of the lyrics sheet and while I was fumbling around with it, the band members faced a semi-torrid time in continuing with the song. The Bottomline being, WE HAD FUN!!!

With or without You was definitely the highlight of the day. The song list was..

1. Clocks - Coldplay
2. I can't help falling in love with you - Elvis
3. Amsterdam - Coldplay
4. Away from the Sun - 3 Doors Down
5. With or Without You - U2
6. Losing the Shine - Why not?....Our own!!

I am not participating in the PAF. I have some important work to do. I need to prove something to myself. That's all!

Our next song list is ready....:-D

I recently came across this song by REM - At my most beautiful.
Simply put, it is the most soulful of songs I have ever heard.
The lyrics exhibit unparalled positivism. This song always brings on a smile!!

:-))

It goes something like this...

I've found a way to make you
I've found a way
a way to make you smile

I read bad poetry
into your machine
I save your messages
just to hear your voice.
you always listen carefully
to awkwards rhymes.
you always say your name.
like I woulden't know it's you,
at your most beautiful.

I've found a way to make you
I've found a way
a way to make you smile

at my most beautiful
I count your eyelashes secretly.
with every one, whisper I love you.
I let you sleep.
I know you're closed eye watching me,
listening.
I thought I saw a smile.

I've found a way to make you
I've found a way
a way to make you smile

A Driving Force

2005-03-13T08:28:00.000-08:00

Defrocking the Priest

Ignorance of the past, no cognizance of the present,
A wanderlust mind, forgets the shadow, sees the crescent,
weltering on a limpid bowl of golden yellow honey,
See the quack! Indolent Oaf! He's after your money!

Incantations on a babble, turgid beads on tumid minds,
Vertical Red lines of penance, on the lookout for viands,
Tongues hidden from view, slurping all over the palate,
Look Out! Master! The Bribe has lured your valet!

Fires of concern, smouldering logs on water baths!
Coconuts on rotund vessels, protecting the aftermath,
Fumes of nauseating stigma, There they Go, thank the Holy Pandit!

A Buffet of assorted cuisines, adorn the mammoth Hall!
Pandit has the first bite, He augurs well for all!
Oily Puris, Spicy Chanas, Ladoos all in a rubble!
Pray Oh Pandit! the thin line of hair forebodes Trouble!

Run! Run Like Hell! Gilmour would freak you out!
Defrock Him! Devour Him! Ostracize Him! shouted the lout,
People make their way out, anathemas under their noses,
Would the God be pleased? Mr. & Mrs. let out the hoses!

Today, I spoke to myself! I now have a motive!
Yes, there exists the sole reason for what I am doing!
It will stay ulterior for a long time!
It is related to my graduate studies!
I have to talk to Bellare tomorrow!

I can't fathom the excitement I feel over such a trivial matter.
Of course, it is just a sleeper. I expect a lot!
I want to visualize now!
Thats all!

PPS, Wake up! you could do with some smiles,
PC, what are you doing in life?
Karthik, Just Let Go!....Seriously!!
Pengi, Don't trust people,
Pursha, Be there,
DASA, Come to this side of the wing!

and to all my school friends, Lets all meet!!
Hehe!!

I am off!

Senseless Talk (The Reprise)

2005-03-10T11:48:00.000-08:00

Before the GRE!

Om Burbuha swaha Tatsam Vidur Varenyam Bargo Devasyaha Deemahi Duyonohana Prachodayad!!

After GRE!!

Munch! Munch! Munch!...

I wonder whether Music is actually a part of my life? or is it just that I wish to see myself through vainglorious eyes? Listening is so peaceful. I can't even think of doing anything else when I hear the guitar strums or the piano acoustics!
Would anyone pay me to just listen to MUSIC??

The Crack in the Door put me in a quandary. Should I see someone outside or should someone outside see me inside?
Why can't we both do what we want to do? Why can't there be 27 questions instead of 28? Why can't we die a life rather than live it?

No, I don't want to die...!!!
I only hope that I Live the Death when I Die!

Pink Floyd comes alive..!!

2005-02-27T10:08:00.000-08:00

I actually have the Wall with me...
It just cannot be Another Brick in the Wall !!
I have so painfully become Comfortably Numb..

\:)/
This is the best thing I could have got...
of course...Pengi had given me GNR...
Symbolic things come alive...!!!

I could not have been happier...!!!

:D:D:D:D:D:D

The senseless talk will continue...
;-)

Senseless Talk - II

2005-02-25T13:41:00.000-08:00

I was very content with the world...
then suddenly, before heading for Mocha...
I decided I should worry about something...
that something remained unidentifiable..
isnt that horrible..sulking about imaginary things...????

Spinning around the Boulevard of Broken Dreams....
got wet in the hostel pool....
mazaa aaya....
showed my love for entropy tonite...
have to go for a work visit tomorrow...
some weird old place...Nagothane...

Why am I in complete abhorrence of this world....
I just dont know....
Maybe...sometimes people care too much...
I am tired of pretending...
I am tired of pretenders...

I want to meet Pervez Musharraf...
I want to go and sit on a pedestal...
I want to design a pedal for my keyboard...

Recently...one of my school batchmates got engaged...
I wondered...Y so early...
I couldn't ask her...coz I am not really close to her...
I wanted to drive home some sense into her...
but then Who am I to?...

I want to stand on the middle of the road.

Senseless Talk! - I

2005-02-20T08:53:00.000-08:00

The man who stole the Geese!

Nights of dreaming about you paid off, when
I saw your dreamy glare from apartment ten,
Tried hard to emboss the smile of radiance,
seemed like heaven existed beyond that fence,

The hair messed up, in its own pretty picture,
saw the prohibitive sign up on the fixture,
scared of the dark, noises in a mixture,
walked on the wet grass, only to see Mr. Trickster!!

Stopped dead, stooped down, bent on the knees,
hid behind the banyan, looked at the geese,
Locked up in the shed, four of them cuddled,
shoes of the crime talked, cackled the geese, befuddled,

Bolted the birds, on the dark side of the light,
Man who sold the geese, smirked at their plight,
The brownies shone beyond the lips, as they were picked,
nefarious minds at work, clocks ticked and ticked,

The Fat old Moon was the spectator, me a navigator,
through the bamboos and murky little puddles,
Who would see me first, but the Gay Bonsai,
"Don't pound your chest", the inside muttered, Dont Sigh!!

Had to keep going, the geese were in trouble!
Don't Panic, This was the place of the Scientist,
Work your mind! Ran like the Panther over the hills and far away,
came across the baton-wielding men, eating geese of the tray!!!

The Mark knopfler Show on 5th March...Will I go?...nO plans yet!!
Midsems..!!..Studying hard...actually...
Is there a motive beyond me existing..there is!!!

I went to Bangy!! came back realizing I didnt know what the term family meant?...
Mom's childhood friends were so amazingly caring, I forgot they were not blood related!! Brinda's House is AMAzing, in JP Nagar. Bangaloreans dont know their city...seriously. They get lost everytime they need to go somewhere. Anand Sagar had to take out the city map the night before to guide us to the place of engagement. Otherwise, there wouldn't have been one!!..

Hehe, just kidding!!

Sruthi sings really well and Sriya is the cute one!!
They actually look like Dolls!

Kausalya Mami was her usual self. It is always so fun to pacify her!!
The in-laws were the in-laws, what more can I say?

Drying! Humidification! The Straight Bamboo and the Gay Bonsai!
Pengi was acting weird today! Pursha ran through me almost!
Shaggy must not be named in public. Kartik will soon have spank marks!!
pc has an ongoing fight with pj!
Ajinkya was flirting with pj!!..I think SO!!
something changed with GS!

Me in a Senseless Mood.
Saw dosa in a smoke. thought it was all wrong!!
WRONG!!
Not because of the smoke, but of things he tries to portay.
Some one better tell him, he is just not worth the effort!!
I can't tell him!!

Acco problems....will be sorted out!!
Saw Queen - Live at Wembley...
Dil Khush Huan!!

The Senseless Talk will continue!

Off to Bangy!!!

2005-02-10T20:37:00.000-08:00

Now, I am leaving for Bangalore...for Swetha's engagement
2 weeks back, was in Delhi for Deepa's wedding!!!
Met up with some interesting personalities!!...
The water obsessed lady!!
The best friend being the pick of all jokes!!
The IN-LAWS!!!

You Wish!!

Lying on the Road, making up the crystals,
flying on the thoughts, cradling in the ideas,
sucking in the air, breathing in your life,
being the free soul, You Wish!!

Sitting on a tree, counting the leaves,
Staring at the monkeys, wriggling your toes,
looking down at the multitude, smiling slyly,
being the free animal, You Wish!!

waddling among shallow waters, feeling the mud,
following the tadpoles, eddying your way out,
listing on a sunny stone, steaming out the water,
being the free navigator, You Wish!!

walking on the beach, feeling the grains,
whiffing in of the blowing wind, bowling me over,
genuflecting under the sun, dreaming of the present,
being the free human, You Wish!!

These days will be counted as among the best days of my life, although nothing substantial happened. But sometimes you do get what you wish for!!

The day beckons!!!

2005-01-22T08:00:00.000-08:00

There is always a reason for me to wake up every morning. No!! It is not the alarm that sounds its gut-wrenching beeps!!!

I am talking about a motive. The motive exists. It is really surprising that every day has a new feeling to it.

On the Turning Away...

2005-01-17T05:23:00.000-08:00

of the many sorrows,
Here comes a Titanium Lining to all gloomy clouds

I finally have a PT - It's in London, Imperial College.
The pay is huge.
I want to enjoy!!!

Thank You - Whoever It Was!!!

:-DD

Cannot Say!!

2005-01-16T10:16:00.000-08:00

Waste of an emotion

I found an oyster shell,
wrapped neatly, the tongue in the bell,
smooth curves, white as snow,
smelled sweet, no one would know,

A peek into the inside was desired,
I fell in love, cold and tired,
grasped hard with solid hands,
but slipped like golden sands,

I have no time,said I,
I would not love someone else,
Please dont make me cry,
No more could I try,

Decide why would I leave you,
A beauty of unfathomed hue,
splitting the rainbow of seven,
making me see red like in heaven,

I want to tell you, I love YOU!!
No more could I wait,
I wish you would read me,
Oh! How I wish! How I wish you were here!!

I leave you unseen,
I cant give you my time,
I would rather remain mime,
I leave with an oyster unturned

This has to be a crazy week. I dont know what the hell am I doing here. I cant even seem to think rationally. There seems to be no end to this menace.

Does someone always has to be on your mind? I have no idea. I think I have resolved the issue. I want to wait. I am committed to the band. I love my band. I love MUSIC. I love Pink Floyd.

I have to stay calm. I have other things to do. I will float with the wind.

A tribute To Kiran Dasa and Karthik Shekhar

2005-01-14T00:32:00.000-08:00

The others...please dont be disappointed....
I will have tributes for all of you....
How could I not?

Certain names were missed
certain were misspelt
inspite of one being a mongrel,
and the other will nails ripped torn,

Fingers might have mislead me,
but the heart finds a place for you,
thanks for all the tricks and treats,
I loved being kicked under the sheets.

The last line is supposed to make you happy and not to be taken seriously, but I am always merry when I am around you both!!

Fusion tomorrow night.
Toss the feathers!!
in Desh Raag,
The band will have a schedule from now on!!!

The Testing Times

2005-01-07T09:53:00.000-08:00

2 from London and 1 from US....
Same Story...Funding Problems....
Will have to decide soon...
hopefully will get a few more offers...

Is the band heading somewhere? No Idea. I composed a song. I also wrote the song, however, pritam is free to make changes in it. The debonair aura has left, it seems. But it will return soon.

The song is titled "Losing the Shine!"
It's a simple song against the futile efforts of US to overpower every weakpoint, they can imagine in this world.

Makes you wonder as to who the hell am I to comment on the mighty nation. The point is I am No one and and hence free. Future actions may not be contingent on what I write. If you ask me Why the Hell am I doing what I am doing?. I have only one response.

Why Not?

My immediate aim is to remove all aberrations and vacillations in life. The straight line has to be restored.

Shiver!
Shiver!

Killer Tsunami

2004-12-27T00:00:00.000-08:00

Hold on tight,
you know she's a little bit dangerous.
She's got what it takes to make ends meet
the eyes of a lover that hit like heat.
You know she's a little bit dangerous.

You turn around,
so hot and dry.
You're hiding under a halo,
your mouth is alive.
Get out of my way!
Get out of my sight!
I'm not attracted to go-go deeper tonight.

- Dangerous - Roxette

Well, They can be dangerous. One second, they look at you with caring eyes and with such innocence, you are fooled into giving in. The very next moment, they have those ferocious looks which pronounce your death. Life as you know on earth is just not the same.

Hmmm..am I talking about girls or the ocean?...For starters, I hope the ocean is feminine!!..;-((
Does it make any difference. It is the same.

Thoughts race to your mind with dazzling pace. It is really intruiging to know what a person thinks when he faces impending death.
I saw this episode of the stupidest things caught on tape, where this person attempts to topple a concrete storehouse about 4 stories high with his tractor. He only succeeds in shaking the foundation but the building stands still and then all of a sudden, it comes down, showering bricks and mud all over the tractor and the driver. So, what was he thinking when he saw the building come crashing down on him.

"Please...GOD!!! just this once, I promise I wont topple buildings with my tractor no more!!!.."

CRASH!!!BOOM!!!!BANG!!!

GRE on 10th March

CRASH!!!BOOM!!!BANG!!!

Toefl on 17th March

CRASH!!!BOOM!!!BANG!!!

I hope atleast, Pritam is understanding the crashes, booms and bangs!!

Roxette sounds amazing AGAIN!!!. I am listening to Roxette again almost a year after I first heard all their songs. I bow to them. Melody comes alive again.

Deepa's engagement gets over. I faced a predicament and I have no idea how to solve it.
It was really fun and I was impatient.

Conflicting...eh?...I am confused!!!

A year older,
charming smile,
pain in my stomach,
wish you were here,
wish I knew, there were no issues!!!

Sad, but hopeful!!!
:-)

Crazy Diamond will Shine!!!

2004-12-17T11:42:00.000-08:00

Remember...When we were young!!

Pictures of striking, blithe eyes,
tears of laughter, heavy sighs,
shattered hair, dirty shoes,
stood by each other,
there were none without twos!!

wooden sticks and cracked balls,
hands shaken and boorish brawls,
ears caught and knees wore patches,
Bugbears and Catcalls,
impish smiles and implicit matches,

flutters of the heart, in cadence,
fears of the unknown, prayed in silence,
secretly morphed into perfect adults,
friends gave company,
in turning back into thankless fools.

I am relaxing in the bus, thinking about people around me. Pursha comes to mind and well, subsequently, SP has to also picture in. Seemingly, they have become inseparable in thought and thats when I turn back towards the front window of the bus. I see this auto-rickshaw which has the words S.P. painted on its rear-like window in Hindi. Now, I am not a firm believer in omens and miracles and all. However, this definitely has me thinking. I definitely hope that this augurs well for both of them.
This may not make sense, but how many of us see the name of the person we love printed somewhere just as we are thinking about them??? Maybe, Pursha should have been in the bus....Hmmm.....

Pritam, IGNORED!!!

Well, there are some people about whom I have not even mentioned in the blogs.

Well, there is Rishabh, Aashish, Ajinkya, Priyanka, Zubin, Kartik, Omkar, Shaggy, Sumedh, Harsha, Devesh, Saumil, Arindam and many others

I dont mention my school and college friends!!!

So....whats the problem?....I ask myself....
I have no Idea!!!!
I just remembered all of them....;-))

Goan Diaries

2004-12-11T12:10:00.000-08:00

Dec. 1 - Dec. 7: - No communication outside Goa. Absolutely no way to stay in touch. No Internet and the mobile phone was locked up in my cupboard switched off. I had the greatest time out in GOA. One of the best family trips, I should say. I have lots to say about the food, however, i dont want to make anyone feel bad about the fact that there were puddings, cheese cakes, ice creams, pastries, kheers, sheeras and all kinds of weird sweets EVERYDAY. But all I would say is that har ek sweet meine kisike naam se khaaya hain. Now, I wont start mentioning names out here, coz, the list is really long. ;-)

Lots and lots of foreigners and ogling had become a necessity. The Resort was filled up with them and their favourite haunting place was the swimming pool or the beach. Talking about the beach, it was really beautiful and since, it was a private beach, the crowd was minimal and you could really freak out.

To start from the beginning,

DAY 1: -

Really the night!!!

My neighbour in the plane was an old nun. Sounds boring, but the story she told me was anything but boring. Now, a lot of us know that there is this 450 year old body of the patron saint of Goa, ie, St. Francis Xavier, which lies at the Se Cathedral of Old Goa, undeteriorated. For the canonisation, it seems his right hand was taken to Vatican and a miracle was awaited. The hand got up on its own and wrote its name on a piece of paper and fell down Dead!!. This freakish story forced me to abandon Pearl Jam on my Discman and listen to her and btw the nun was disabled which I found out at the airport.

Landed at Dabolim airport at 5 pm. The drive from the airport was exciting in only one aspect. It was the bungalows just beside the road that really caught my attention. They all seemed so much from the ancient times, when things were real slow. This was, however, still true in Goa. Everyone just lazes around and nobody is really bothered about their business or their careers as much as we do out here in Mumbai.
Reached the resort at about 6:30 pm. It was the Club Mahindra Varca Beach Resort at the Varca beach down in south Goa.
Dinner was fabulous. It reminded me of the fact that I am going to have such meals for the rest of my stay. Buffets are really the greatest thing to have happened in this world. esp. the ones at these hotels...;-)).
I also got to know the funda of an ice cream scoop which has some kind of thermostat arrangement inside but seems just plain old metal from outside. Atleast it looked better than those scoops with the clippers.

I slept early...because I wanted to have fun the next day and it had to start early!! :-))

DAY 2: -

Morning and the view from the balcony was that of the restaurant and the swimming pool. Not the best of views, but nevertheless pleasant. After bath, I used a Hair Dryer for the first time, not because I didnt have access to it, but simply because I thought I needed it!!! Kinda reminds me of the scene from Home Alone (I feeeeelll Goodd!!)

We had a look around the whole resort after breakfast. Near about lunch, as we proceeded to the buffet, we saw this huge Acoustic Grand Piano at the bar. Mere sight was enough to get me excited and I desperately wanted to lay my hands on the keys. After lunch, we were back and I was having goosebumps as a Piano makes me see things which I can't imagine otherwise. I played some good numbers. My parents were happy and the bar-tender was hiding a smile. There was, sadly, no one else. I, however, enjoyed myself and there was no way I would go back without playing it once more some other day.
In the evening, It was poolside fun as me and my mom enjoyed a cool dip in the pool. I had engaged in swimming after a really long time. Then, there was this small gathering in the hall of the club members staying at the resort. The agenda was fun. We did have a fab time with games and music and magic. Most of the games were couple games and since I was the single one out there, I had to stay out for most of them. :-((. There were many honeymoon couples and Dances followed. There was no way I would not take snaps of my parents dancing. Baar baar aise mauke nahi aate!!!
Dinner, as usual, was fulfilling ;-))

DAY 3: -

Margao was the destination and I sort of hated it. Mom did some shopping and I hate shopping. I just cant go around looking for stuff to buy. This is probably the reason I couldnt get anything from there. Nothing for friends and nothing for myself...:-((..Sorry!!
After Lunch....Beach Fun. Had some major time fun but sadly couldnt do any water sports. coz it was expensive and mom had her fears..:-((
In the evening, we had this wonderful Goan Culural Dance where they showed us some Koli and Portuguese dances. It was weird but fun. After Dinner, It was back again at the bar for the Piano and this time around there were some foreigners around. They all smiled back whenever I looked up. esp. the ladies. I found it extemely awkward when the men smiled but I had to reciprocate.;-))
The internet sucks out there. Damn slow telephone lines were always disconnecting me.

DAY 4: -

Panaji was our next town. It was the centre of attention as the International Film Festival of India was being held. The trip to Panaji was, however, not the easiest. The taxi would charge Rs. 900 for a 1 way trip which was way costly. So, we decided to go via bus. To catch the bus, we needed to reach the village church which cost us another 100 bucks. This distance was hardly 2 kms!!! From the village church, we caught a bus to Margao Market. From there, another bus to the Margao Main Bus Stand! and then a bus to Panaji Bus stand. However, to reach our actual destination, we had to catch, would you believe it or not, another bus to a place known as Kala Academy. The Academy allowed only delegates to enter, so we decided to walk along the street towards the multiplex where the movies were being screened. They had all kinds of weird activities going along. There were mime artists, jugglers, unicyclists, violin player and local Goan bands. The muliplex was a big disappointment as we came to know that even if we bought tickets, we wouldn't be guaranteed seats inside.

We decided to move around a bit towards the market and suddenly the place started becoming familiar to me. I realised that when we had come 11 years back to Goa, we had stayed in a hotel called Sunrise, which was nearby. I moved around, crossed a lot of corners and just when I thought that I would not find it, I saw it on the side of the street. I waved frantically at my parents who by then had been left far behind. A photograph was inevitable and we ate lunch at the same restaurant where we used to have our breakfast on our earlier trip.

My parents wanted to see the Shantadurga Temple whereas I wanted to stay on in Panaji to watch the Shaan concert. So, we decided to part ways and off they went to Ponda and I first went back to the Multiplex. On my way, I saw these really hot foreign ladies dancing to the Karaoke tunes right on the streets. In the muliplex, I managed to catch a glimpse of Jaaved Jaafri, Boman Irani, Rajkumar Hirani and Ravi Vaswani (of Jaane bhi do Yaaron fame) who had turned up in a traditional Goan hat. I had just missed Ashutosh Gowariker and Aamir Khan..:-(

Later, in the evening, I went to the Miramaar Beach where the concert was to be held. The crowd was HUGE!!. I think even bigger than the Moscow 91 Rock Concert. I also saw this nonsensical (to me ;-)) exhibition of sand titled "Installation of the Beach"!!. It made no sense at all. I had to leave early because Buses come to a standstill after 9 pm in Goa. I made my way back to Margao via Panaji Bus stand. The bus was the last bus to Margao at 8 pm!!. At 9:30 pm, Margao seemed like a ghost city. I cannot even imagine Mulund to be deserted in that fashion at 4 am!!. I tried to call up my parents but couldn't do so because the phone lines were under repair. I caught a taxi way back to the resort. Even the taxi-driver's mobile refused to work at that time. Finally after reaching the resort,I had dinner and ate up large chunks of apple cheese cake, banana pudding ,strawberry icecream and spongy-spongy cake...:-D

It had been a good day!!!

DAY 5: -

The Chandor Village and Mansion: - We went to this queer old village which consisted of a church, a village square and a few houses and a 400 year old portuguese mansion. This bungalow was really ancient and very very wide!!!. There were Old bedrooms, chapels and huge ball rooms. Even paraphernalia of those good old days were preserved really well. The family had been living for there for the past 11 generations. I saw this fundoo quote on one of the walls.

"Don't think about repenting at the eleventh hour. You might die at ten-thirty."

We took a few snaps and then moved around the village. We caught a bus and came back to Margao. We had initially planned to go to the Palolem beach as well but decided against it as it was really far away. Came back to the resort. Headed straight for the pool. spent about 2 hours in water. In the meantime, my parents loitered around the beach. After coming back, saw Mr. Bean on TV. My laughing career has taken new directions after seeing him. I LOVE HIM!!!

DAY 6: -

It was the last day and we had planned a lot. First stop was the Big-Foot at Loutelim, where there is this huge foot-mark on which you place your right foot and make a wish. Did that!!
Headed straight for Old Goa where the decennial exposition of St. Francis was being celebrated. Every ten years, they bring down the body of the patron saint from his Se Cathedral home and place it for viewing in the adjacent Bascilus of Bom Jesus church. The body has decomposed quite a bit but the general body structure is very much evident even today.

We, again made our way to Panaji to see this church where the filming of Josh was done, viz., The Church of Immaculate Conceptions. There had been a wedding recently as the church was beautifully decorated from the inside. Dil Chahta hain more and we headed for Fort Aguada where one of my fav. movies was filmed. The view was spectacular as the beautiful coastline could be seen clearly.

We made our way back and did some packing to leave. That night, sigh!!!!, I had my last dinner and sadly waved good bye to the yummy desserts. Led-Zep was the music of the moment for me. I listened and I slept.

DAY 7: -

The day I came back. Nothing spectacular, except, saw Rita Bhaduri at Dabolim airport!!??
btw Plane Meals Suck Big Time!!!

I had a great time.
I enjoyed every moment of it.
I am back.

I hear about Pursha and SP. I am happy!!!
These are great times.
I have to somehow reason out with PPS. He has to be pacified.
He is angry with me. I am still ignoring him.
;-)

Shweta cooks food and I miss it..:-(
Pc is as usual himself.
It is great to be back with them.

A Blank SignBoard

2004-11-28T09:52:00.000-08:00

Turning Point

The road has led me elsewhere,
the plan has been modified
the story grips me with anger
the trial makes me wonder,
the thoughts make me shiver,
the actions leave me unnerved,
the aftermath has me unfazed,
the night forces a look,
into the pitch blankness
the deaths make it all overwhelming
the ones alive just make it through
the tears refuse to not make it count,
the gloom descends from within
the mall does its bit,
the boys wear a smile with metal pellets within,
the photo is left on the porch
the image is etched in gold
the wonder of being a bullet,
the fact that I could atleast be shot,
into the heart of an angel

I make myself see!!

Oh! The ones at Columbine. I do not empathize.
I only want to know more!!

I have no idea as to what has happened to me. I got angry for apparently no reason but music made me see the echo in light. I want to change. Damn it!! I want to change.
I became a chacha a second time around. I remembered some people and wanted to meet up with them.
Mom got really ill and I was scared for a moment or so.
I leave for Goa on wednesday. I wanna play some music, but my keyboard lies in my hostel. I play U2. I still dont know how to dismantle an atomic bomb. The vertigo has no effect on me. The Trouble with B4U is that they use Coldplay for their background music. The cricket makes me not wanna watch it. Some people have twinkle in their eyes. I feel ecstatic for them.
I watch "Bowling for Columbine". I know more. All I know is that I know more. I am happy that I atleast know more. Thank You.
:'(

The Winter Starts

2004-11-24T21:17:00.000-08:00

High Hopes!!!

Days will come with nights to follow,
I should know,
I would see,

Lights will dim and Shadows shall lurk,
I would not hide,
I would search,

Music shall play and Be the Guide,
I would humm,
I would listen,

Five Hands and Fifty fingers would let the rhythm in,
I see them,
I hear them,

Wishing someone were here beside me,
I dream about them,
I lost them,

Borders shall be hidden from view,
I would dance,
I would laugh,

I would let my hair grow,
I want the wind,
I would feel my soul

The end-sems ended yesterday and the long vacations started today. This is gonna be a fun time with family and friends. Music Practice shall go on as usual. Amsterdam, My Immortal and High Hopes are the new peices. As far as the band goes, still stuck with U2. Hopefully, that should be done quickly. Pursha, Shweta, Mandar and me watched Mughal-e-Azam at R Adlabs. It's a really good movie and with Madhu Bala to grace the screen, who would not want to watch it.

As of today, I want to be a musician, a writer and a professor!!!...

The Pink Floyd - High Hopes video was a scary one but majorly intense. I just couldn't stop watching it even after having played the same file countless times over.

The 2 jokers
The Circle of Friends
The high flags fluttering
The huge statue
The large balls
The tall men

I respect Pink Floyd
I just love them!!!

Laugh Now!!!

2004-11-21T11:57:00.000-08:00

Its time!!!

I have got back to the habit of laughing out loudly...

No more laughing in the mind....

It will be Rahul on the Floor Laughing....

Wonder whats next??!!

Curry or No Curry!!

2004-11-18T23:52:00.000-08:00

Lunch Time again...

My plate has rice, salad, sambhar, curd, paapad (:P)and a glass of lime juice. But something is missing!!

It is the curry.

At home, Mom serves rice with curry (has to be there..no mistaking it). But in the past 2.5 years in hostel. I have never had rice with curry. Mom would kill me if she comes to know about it. :D

I feel good about the fact that I get to eat curry whenever I go home. I just love it. (Bless the Weekend)

Tomorrow, I get to do the same. Eat Curry!!!

The Metronome II (Stage Debut & Mosquitoes)

2004-11-10T03:43:00.000-08:00

In Realization!!!

The cool man over the side,
stood up straight with no bow,
walked with a large swagger,
with thoughts of people to tow

Crowds belonged to a 2nd world,
Matrices and virtualities had all the space,
Alone he was, in his stride of wake,
wondered whether he had any pace?

happened to see a sillhouette,
white lines and black figures,
pieces of letters and notes were threaded,
no wonder, they were faded!!

stepped on the sands of gold,
tumbling and balancing on ten toes,
sweat and dirt all poured around,
nothing seen! not even his foes!!

turn back he did, on himself,
looked down to chop off his feet,
looked up to see his miseries,
saw his steps and cried in joy!!!

Why not? had its stage debut on the day before last. It was in an informal rock show titled "6 feet from the bands!!" up on the terrace of Hostel 8. It was a truly marvellous gathering. Songs performed by us: - Last Kiss - Pearl Jam, Clocks - Coldplay and The Scientist - Coldplay. We were liked by one and all. The appreciation was overwhelming, considering the fact that we were nowhere just a month back. We didnt even have any idea of the instruments themselves. We were ridiculed and made fun off. We could still be :P, but atleast we know that we did well, when it mattered. Of course, I know we have to improve and keep doing well. The next few songs inlcude With or Without You - U2, Light my Fire - The Doors, Wherever I may Roam - Metallica, How you remind me - Nickelback and 2 originals. I have no idea of the originals but we know we will compose them. Thanks to PPS, Pursha, Saumil and Anil and everyone else. Of course, appreciation and acknowledgements are due where they are supposed to be!!!...kyun PC..kya bolta hain??...:D

The mosquito presentation was awesome. I was on a roll, if I can put it in that way?! CV tried hard to bombard me but I had the answers and Jb was mighty pleased. Shweta and I had a awesome time out there. There were laughs and joy all around as soon as my talk was over. Hopefully, I can publish something out of it. I really am banking on this. PTs - No Responses.

Now, its Diwali. Wishing everyone a merry time!!!

Of course, the Metronome!! How can I forget it?

Fast pacers have to slow down and slow movers have to speed up.
It is not a joke. M taught me the pace of life. We just happen to miss that beat..
don't we?

The Metronome

2004-11-04T14:07:00.000-08:00

Band Practice ended at 3:30 am....and here I am sitting in front of my comp at 3:45 am....not knowing what to write.

The Metronome taught me something valuable.

We don't realize how fast we are going unless we see someone going slower or faster than us. How can music be left out from this cycle...of course not!!!...
Metronome you rule...!!!

Rs. 8893

2004-10-29T02:02:00.000-07:00

There is a difference between being plain old lucky and the fact that things might just be in place!!!

I lost my keys anywhere between my lab and H10 and have to came back to a locked room. I almost gave up hope of entering it, as I knew, that I had a habit of locking the back door. Even, the window was jammed shut. But, "luckily enough", the door was open that day and I could atleast get in!!!

I happen to go to the library, today, to get certain data for an experiment for which I have already made 4 trips this semester, but hadn't found it yet. I stop for a moment to look around and just turn left to one of the racks and sure enough I find the most amazing compilations ever, and then I start wondering!!!

My fine is somehow reduced from a very staggering 13000 to a staggering Rs. 8893. The librarian says, they have not counted the amount payable for both the volumes inspite of the fact that they had to buy both of them.

Maybe, I will find my keys??!! I decide to go to the lab to have a look at one of the tables. I, fortunately, find Ramachandran tweaking away at the pipes and go straight to the table in the VIVA room where I thought I might have kept it. This is where I start imagining things. How could this happen? How was it possible that the keys were never moved away from the table, considering the fact that almost the emtire batch had come for their last "vivas". Ramachandran had the last say, "You are very lucky!!"

Well, I don't know about that. But, things are definitely in their place!!!
Simple things! Simple Facts!
Difficult to rationalize!!

Rennaissance & The Call of the Wild

2004-10-26T09:30:00.000-07:00

So, It was Thursday again...Not one of the best days of the week for me... :-P

I was almost ready to go home for Dasshera, when Pursha suddenly makes up a plan for a treat. A treat for apparently, his PT..I suppose...I am not sure why you gave the treat...;-))..Pursha..but in any case I enjoyed...

Destination was unknown for a long time. Then after a not-so-long discussion, we made up our minds to go to The Rennaissance. I didn't mind it at all. After all, my job was only to eat and/or drink. Eventually, the slash will be removed...:-P

So here we were sitting in the lounge (a bar, actually) just outside the Chinese Restaurant, listening to this couple perform on stage. The guy on keyboards and the lady singing. Pursha and Shweta, out of nowhere, suddenly,came up with this idea of putting me on stage. I initally had my doubts, but then I agreed to do something stupid, provided, the couple agreed to let me....!!!

An eerie silence echoed in my ears. All faces were turned towards me as though, they were slaughtering me in their brains. A not-so-perfect rendition of The Scientist - Coldplay followed which was greeted with applause by Shweta, Pursha and PC, a foreign couple and an odd old group of foreigners very much busy with their travel plans. But, then that was not the end. Seemingly, I believed that I had not made a fool of myself and proceeded with the Bombay Theme. It went out of tune in the middle and then there it ended.

The experience was a lesson. "It is beneficial to be in your own, rather than being in some other"...

RUM followed and Chinese soup, starters and Food was served and we had a good time, considering that we even got a live tutorial on "How to eat with Chop-sticks?" from our attendant.

Wait, I didn't add the fact that me and Pursha were getting bored by the swimming pool while Shweta and Pc were busy loitering in the secret garden by the lakeside. Hammocks were almost torn apart..;-) and perfumes lapped up on crazily,small litmus papers!!...

Then There Existed a Small Place known as Mochas very near the Bandra church, which by the way has a small flower shop by the side and the way from over there leads us towards the sea!!!.. This seems like a nice place to propose to someone...;-)...Pursha, are you listening..oh!!...or is it Ajinkya!!??

2 Pianomen, 2 Coffees, 1 Lava?? and a bowl of finger chips later, it was time to feel sorry for Pursha...He is the best man around...I hope he gets what he wants...That doesn't mean...I want to spend a night with you, Pursha!!! I guess you are happy with Pc, Akshay and the sophies!!

Then there was a day last week, when me and DASA had good enough reasons to believe that there was a panther in our wing. The growling noises were insanely scary. All it required for the sprint of our life was a plain, old simple look towards each other and We were off...off to Harsha's room!! Saumil and Harsha joined us in discovering the panther which was only roaring uptil now. Harsha, then, actually, threw a mnatch-stick into mid-air, thinking that it would scare away the beast who, had still not made his appearance. Finally, turning around the corner, we saw the act of copulation between 2 frustated dogs!!!...

And there was a snake which slithered past me in its own easy pace, just outside the BioSchool, while I stood rooted to the ground. It was a huge, long, green snake which, as Chandler would say, "scared the Bejesus out of me!!!"...

Weekend belonged to studies as there was and end-semester exam on Sunday (Can you believe this??). I ,even, had to bribe my wingmates into not bothering me while I was studying!!!..that too, with Aloo Paranthas and Musambi Juice!!!

The next 2 weeks are going to be hectic and crazy and I am gonna enjoy, without, hopefully, laughing hysterically!!!

;-))

Laugh Not !!!

2004-10-24T09:01:00.000-07:00

I have decided something!!!

I will not laugh....well...that doesn't mean I will be sad and all...
but I want to just try out a non-hysterical laugh habit

as for other things...a lot....
more in the next blog...
too busy writing lab-reports and assignments...
I think this is the first time I am feeling let down by myself....
in a dejected mood....

The seminar...

2004-10-21T01:11:00.000-07:00

Finally it is done...just submitted it....

Thankfully, no mosquitoes to be studied now...
2 mosquitoes were squashed during the making of this report, that too, between 2 review papers...!!!...
I feel sorry for them but couldn't help laughing at the irony...!!!!

My DR is 3....for people who thought that mosquitoes are dumb!!!....

The walk

2004-10-18T09:53:00.002-07:00

From the edge of the forest,
a walk was to commence,
looking in all directions, for a path shortest,
the unrealized was to be realized,

short steps of careful tread,
smiles for unfathomed reasons,
and then followed a jump of dread,
for the line of ants as in all seasons,

wanting to look back in pity,
the head shook in disguise,
to look at things ahead in waiting,
see the road as it would suffice,

leaves dropped by to signal their end,
flowers withered from their stems,
twigs broke down without a bend,
but had to walk past all of them,
no ponders for the null in souls,

hurried past dogs waking up from their sleep,
scampered past birds just landed for their meal,
scooted past people lazying on their midday meal,
shouted past friends with a twinkle in the eyes,

jumped up in crazy delight!!!
fought for control within me...
stopped for a while, in strife,
I had walked the walk of life.

With or without you - U2 is our next cover. Initial practice sessions seem promising. and Finally, the seminar report is done!! It took me a long time, but was worth the effort. The mosquitoes have been squashed!!! Hopefully, jb won't suggest any major changes. No success on the PT front. More rejections, one even from mpi...but still have hope of cracking something huge. Asian Paints screwed up big time with my resume!!! I wasn't even short-listed. The only probable reason...They skipped my resume....:-))

The H5 Rock-Video nite was amazing...although had to come back quickly for the seminar. Pritam officially drinks 100 bottles of beer. Das ist mir Wurtz is the new catchline for Dixi. It means "I don't care a damn" in German slang!!!! Literally, it means "This is my sausage!!" Funny Germans and funnier IITians....

Saxena went mad yesterday. Pursha is generally happy these days. Bacchi is in her usual hyper-changing mood. Her boyfriend is having trouble with his mouth and stomach, but otherwise, he is the usual guy around. Mazedaar aadmi hain!!!

Me having fun with the band. MeT some interesting people last week. hopefully will go for a dandiya this week. Finally a long weekend which will go in mugging up chemistry!!! X-((

Swades soundtrack is awesome....
Ram mere man mein hain...isliye aage ki yeh panktiyaan ek gaane se...

Ram hi to karunomaya hain, shanti mein Ram hain,
Ram hi hain Ektaa mein, pragati mein Ram hain,
Ram bas bhakto aur shatruon ke bhi chintan mein hain,
Dekh taj ke paap Ravan, Raam tere man mein hain

Ram tere man mein hain,
Ram tere man mein hain,
Ram tere man mein hain,
Ram mere man mein hain,

Ram to ghar ghar mein hain,
Ram har aangan mein hain,

Man se Ravan jo nikaale, Ram uske man mein hain,

Man se Ravan jo nikaale, Ram uske man mein hain!!

The Lamp-post at the Corner

2004-10-16T08:14:00.000-07:00

well...i hate to just post lyrics of songs..but couldn't help posting these...
song- Stuck in a moment you can't get out of by U2...

I'm not afraid
Of anything in this world
There's nothing you can throw at me
That I haven't already heard
I'm just trying to find
A decent melody
A song that I can sing
In my own company

I never thought you were a fool
But darling look at you
You gotta stand up straight
Carry your own weight
These tears are going nowhere baby

You've got to get yourself together
You've got stuck in a moment
And now you can't get out of it
Don't say that later will be better
Now you're stuck in a moment
And you can't get out of it

I will not forsake
The colors that you bring
The nights you filled with fireworks
They left you with nothing
I am still enchanted
By the light you brought to me
I listen through your ears
Through your eyes I can see

And you are such a fool
To worry like you do
I know it's tough
And you can never get enough
Of what you don't really need now
My, oh my

You've got to get yourself together
You've got stuck in a moment
And you can't get out of it
Oh love, look at you now
You've got yourself stuck in a moment
And you can't get out of it

I was unconscious, half asleep
The water is warm 'til you discover how deep
I wasn't jumping, for me it was a fall
It's a long way down to nothing at all

You've got to get yourself together
You've got stuck in a moment
And you can't get out of it

Don't say that later will be better
Now you're stuck in a moment
And you can't get out of it

And if the night runs over
And if the day won't last
And if our way should falter
Along the stony pass

And if the night runs over
And if the day won't last
And if your way should falter
Along this stony pass

It's just a moment
This time will pass

Tonite is a rocking nite here at the insti...H5 hosting a Rock Video Nite....Hopefully, I should be able to make it...unless the mosquitoes have some other plan....;-)

There are times when I wonder if I would be someone, but then I realize that I have to wander and go off to places where no one would want to go....

like spending a night at the graveyard...or maybe stand on the top of a sky-scraper on one leg without any support....

Maybe I will never do any of these....but that doesn't stop me from wandering in my dreams...does it???

Why not again?

2004-10-09T13:15:00.000-07:00

Well, last kiss and scientist are ready. I am really enjoying the band sessions and somehow I feel complete right now. The German classes are progressing really well. pc must have come back by now. Well, Shweta must be happy. PPS and Dixi in good mood as usual!!!

I am growing my hair long....hehehehehe
dont know how long this phase will last??....hehe....again???

Band members of Why not?

Pritam (Bum Drum) - Drums and Creative Director
Pursha - Bassist annd Vocals
Anil - Lead Guitarist
Saumil - Rhythm Guitarist
and finally me (Clueless Keys)...time for a name change....Synth and vocals

Seminar work in full progress and presentations are due...Mosquitoes here i come...
hopefully I will get some publishing done.

just got off an audio conversation with priya...She is as chirpy as ever.

Mom's birthday yesterday....gifted her a statue of Saraswati...had to...coz she is!!!!

Tomorrow..Kumar Chacha's birthday...Sheras and good food...hopefully...

A personal composition is half ready..I should be done with it by next weekend!!!

In the minds of Caesar

2004-10-08T11:21:00.000-07:00

The joys of pain and afflictions,
born in a sinless mind,
crying out towards the reflections,
untouched, serene, in a tight bind!!!

A thought of infinite happiness,
onwards a timeline of unknown sadness,
contrasting emotional values, no less,
than the black and white hues,

Crowds portray a sense of gaiety,
Aloofness finds no sharing soul,
A search in the mob yields not,
a single human with open eyes,

Living a life of opposites,
we know not, what we think,
Bursting into small fits,
anguish and screams go down the sink.

Love waits for no one,
opportune moments arrive and depart,
release your words to someone,
you cherish and would not part,

Time waits for no one,
Lost in your own body,
A search ,without the sun,
to shine its rays and make us aware,
of an angel whom we adore!!!

Now, this has been one of the best of my worst days!!!

I probably lost my love and I probably found a wonderful friend. "Probably" finds a new meaning in my dictionary. A meaning, I am not aware of and would not know for a long time. I also realized that I was late!!! A simple explanation for how things could have been different. I remembered the most beautiful eyes I had ever seen in my life. The eyes were the only visual possibilities and I was awestruck. The blabber from my mouth has a link to search for and somehow reach the brain. The lake was exotic as usual. Today, I realized how much I love someone so much that, waiting finds itself as an understatement.

Why Not???

2004-09-29T13:26:00.000-07:00

Why do people have to meddle in stuff they are not supposed to?

In case, anyone is wondering about what shit I am muttering about, it is the sophies in the wing. They can't just keep their mouths shut. Is it necessary to actually keep on blabbering about what one should do and shouldn't. In the end,it all boils over to the query "Why not?". After all, they are entitled to their own views. Hmmm. But opinions need not be expressed everytime there is a chance to do so, especially when they are totally unwanted. For instance, why the Hell would I want to know when to do what and what to do when from a junior.

Well...Should I? I could, but not if there is always a sort of smart ass comment to follow up with the piece of advice. Like Red would say, "My Foot is about to drill a hole in your ass!" Such indignant emotions are best kept under wraps, especially in front of strangers, or maybe in front of known people. Strangers are what they are literally, they are unknown and strange and are bound to be the same if not done something about it. However, you would not want your loved ones to become strangers to you!!

I have been delayed in my postings by the existence of something very special, and that is, the band that has been given life after a long lay-off. Pritam on Drums, Pursha on bass and vocals, Dixi on rhythms and me on synth and vocals. It has been christened "Why Not?". The band motto is "Ask Not Why?, Ask Why Not?", coined by Pritam. So, in the end, Y not is the fundamental response to the fundamental query "Why?". The 1st cover of our band is Clocks by Coldplay. Our huge oppurtunity might come next weekend, i.e, if Acoustic Dusk is finalized. Two more songs are in the pipeline - Last Kiss - Pearl Jam and The Scientist - Coldplay.

I am enjoying my seminar. I had not realized this earlier, but working with mosquitoes is really fun. The topic is super cool and research is amazingly interesting. Acads are perennially monotonous. I am just waiting for the semester to end, enjoy the trip to Goa, attend weddings (2 of my closest cousins are getting engaged in the span of 2-3 weeks in December and January). This promises to be a fun time.

These were not the best times for 2 of my friends. Some things could have been different and definitely better.

:-|

Life, it can twist your heart,
put you in the dark,
Right in front of you
We were looking for it somehow
Somewhere we couldn't see

But the love was always there
It's been around us everywhere
I had to fall to finally see
That you were right in front of me

-Right in Front of You --- Celine Dion

Living myself

2004-09-10T10:39:00.000-07:00

The wheel goes spinning around,
wooden spokes and mud in and out,
pile of stones and dirt on a mound,
He was a potter, possessed and stout,

hands held in a round fashion,
the mud pots shaped and beauty created,
Much like the Hands of God, only
An essence of mortality imparted,
from one to another, both destined to perish,

Is this the way we deal with life?
Is this the way to pass on a death-wish?
Is this the cry for a change?
Is this the sty we want to prick open?

An anguish and a sigh of helplessness...
Laughing and joking would only push us away,
An away, that would be too far away to even be reflected,
Truth would prevail, hopelessly, only to be deflected.

Well...no post for a long time...but here I am again...
Exams begin this week and not the best of times. Inspite of the fact, that there are only 4 courses, preparations for the same are not the best and there could have been better days.

It was her birthday this thursday and I wished her early in the morning, albeit only after getting an SMS from her ;-)). Well, I definitely remembered but couldn't get through to her number and I have, yet, to give her the gift I made for her. Hopefully, we will meet tomorrow!!

After screwing up the only 2 quizzes to have happened so far, it can be safely said that the sem has got off to the worst possible starts in the academic front. Otherwise, it just one of those days that I have always wanted. I am doing things which I like. No one to push me around. Synth-practice, Fountainhead, That 70s Show, listening to music day in & day out, meeting up with school pals and watching movies and lots more. Believe it or not, I want to do more such stuff and continue to have more fun.

Metallica, not my favourite band, but a concert on video gave me the shivers. I felt like my only place was on the stage. The reaction of the audience further precipitated my feelings. I have to be there!!!

Black Monday and "Patti"

2004-08-28T12:09:00.000-07:00

Spiderman's motto was "With great power comes great responsibilty"...

In my case....I have absolutely no power....I can't jump around and spin webs...oh...and I am irresponsible as well.

I have managed to get myself into a huge financial muddle. I owe the Institute Library atleast Rs. 10000. Now, before you get even closer to gaping at the amount...hmmmm...well ok....i don't have anything to say...so please continue to stare at the biggest blunder of my life...

2 books and a chance proved too hot to handle and I messed up the books.

and then...

More bad news trickled in..

My ailing Grandma breathed her last on wednesday last at 12:30 pm. Her soft nature and chiding comments shall always bring her back to me. She never scolded me except for this one terribly awful moment of my life. That single hammering I got remains etched in my mind. It was my mistake, all right. But I felt a lot more unhappy for the fact that my beloved "Patti" was angry at me. She fed me at sharp 12:30 pm till my 14th birthday whenever I had lunch at her house. I hated the Tamil TV serials she watched but I was pleased for her and never touched the remote till she was done commenting on the bad storyline or sympathizing with the protagonist who btw was always in trouble in these dumb serials. Fond of bhajans, I owe my love for music to her. My mom lovingly called her Amu. My cousin will miss her the most and I will, too.

She was my "Patti"

And now, she is no more...

crying out loud

2004-08-21T00:35:00.000-07:00

The squirrel lay dead, with blood dripping down its puny,little head. Its tiny, brown eyes had the story etched, but no way to tell anyone. A passing motorist would have readily ignored its presence, mistaking it for another obstruction on the road like the countless other rocks. I could easily have been one of the culprits myself.
These 2 strangers felt the pain. Dragging the body to the side, they buried the body with the utmost respect.
A Thank You could not be said.

Remembering the Almighty...
Seated in his corner of the bus, a content face glared out of the window, looking out for a delightful sight after a hard day's labour. A sudden thought made him stare at empty space. "Allah", the words blurted out. The sudden remembrance made him a little sadder. I wonder why? Does a thought about someone to whom you pray always make you a trifle unhappy.

Acads are getting out of hand and I am terribly bored of all the courses. The monotonous lectures are screwing my head open. The professors make me drowsy everytime I see them. The only respite is the fact that I can go back to my room and listen to Deep Purple, Led-Zep and cry out loud with them.

Oh...SOMETIMES I FEEL LIKE SCREAMING!!!!!

OVER THE HILLS AND FAR AWAY,
The SONG of the RAIN,
HUSHes me into a golden silence
and BURNs the discontent

a COMMUNICATION BREAKDOWN saddens me
reminds me of THE AVIATOR,
A melancholy SOON FORGOTTEN,
turns me into a sweet CHILD IN TIME..

in my life

2004-08-15T04:26:00.000-07:00

An angel flew past a heart,
beating in its usual rhythm,
only follwing a periodic law,
with a surety of no flaw

A change was inevitable,
A beauty seen in his eyes,
A stir caused in his life,
A sting as sharp as a knife

A beat so fast, so maddening,
no idea, what was happening,
Genesis of a life, so pulsating,
an angel in sight, so breath-taking!

On the other side...

The boy sat, excitedly, at the window seat. He got out the money for his usual half-ticket. Snapping his ticket-marker, the bus-conductor screamed at him to take out his ID card. The poor fellow had forgotten it. Shouting at the top of his voice, the conductor demanded the full amount. The boy, saddened as he was, realised to his dismay that he was a rupee short. He got up to get down, when he was held back by a helping hand. The old woman, probably didn't have enough money herself. She silently took out a rupee and thrust it in the sweaty palms of the frustated conductor. The boy, shyly, asked her not to do so. She only smiled back and gestured him to sit in his seat.

She got ready to leave for home. He didn't want her to.
She shook his hands. He looked in her eyes and slowly said, "Will you always just shake hands?"
She replied, "why?"
He moved towards her and a kiss was planted on her left cheek, softly and with love for a hundred lives.
But, she had to leave and he let her go.

A good time...

2004-08-12T13:12:00.000-07:00

well...there has been no update from my side for quite a few days.

BLAME THE NET...
BLAME THE CRANKY SPIKE GUARD...

3rd sem is turning out to be "a not so tough sem" after all. Maybe I will have to wait and watch. Seminar work is in progress. MOSQUITOES AHOOYYY!!!!

Suri coudn't stand his bumps and broke down. Poor Fellow!! I really felt sorry for him. I was always a passive person when it came to giving bumps. And then came 1st May 2004 which was a turning point. I decided,then, that I would give them a fair share of beatings and then disappear on the eve of my birthday. However, today, I rethought this plan. I have not reached any conclusion. HMM...SHOULD I give someone beatings with chappals....

Poetry has come to a standstill. Maybe this weekend there will be a topic. I am almost sure.
I am meeting her tomorrow and I am looking forward to have a good time with her AGAIN!!! :-))

The days of my lives

2004-08-02T03:21:00.000-07:00

Last week was the 1st week of my third year in IITB. A reason to celebrate...hmmm..maybe not..coz it turned out to be the most rotten weeks of all.
Rain Rain...GO AWAY...
Come again on some other BAY..

It has been raining continuously for the past 7 days. There hasn't been even a brief respite for humble souls like us. The classes have turned out to be unimaginably monotonous. Labs will start soon and that will bring in the "magic" of this sem. Permanent nervous breakdown seems imminent.

In any case, there is always a scope for enjoyment. Sometimes like the following...

Request of the Week:-

By:- Pranav Chowdhary
Requestee:- Myself

Place:-Chem. Eng. Dep. Canteen
Time:-In between lectures.

What:- Please consider the option of being gay!! Seriously!!

Reply:- Sorry...can't do that..I still like girls..Can't help it!!!...

That resulted in a chirpy mood for the next lecture. Thanks PC!!!.

Saturday was a great day..in fact...really a magical day...Y?....well....can't decide whether I should post it or not...So right now....no comments..

The liby might screw me in a few days...I have managed to destroy 2 books...thanks... mainly to the rain. So, wish me Luck....

moribund

2004-07-21T12:06:00.000-07:00

How does one pray for a death???....

We love our loved ones. We can't see their pain. We regret that we can't express our grief at the right moment. We love life.

We gape at our own helplessness. We stare at lifelessness. We shudder at the sight of a loss. We cry for a response.

We surrender our memories. We smile at a happy moment. We glance at the clock. We measure our steps.

We forgive God. We hope against hope. We search for an answer. We march ahead.

But, can't help it, can you?
We love life....

The Nothing Week!!

2004-07-17T10:49:00.000-07:00

Well, nothing happened!! Really nothing happened at all this week.
Same old Bus Rides
The same old chair in the department,
the MP3 player still over my shoulders,
walking through the Mulund market again and again due to empty wallets

I also learnt that some things cannot remain a secret!! especially if email accounts get hacked, but then there are always new things to look forward for and here is where I could cry but I will not, because I believe that things always workout for the better.

There is a new twist to the bike story!! Well, it was sold (definitely) but for Rs. 5500 to the same dealer from whom we bought it in the first place, about 13 years ago. This is a very senti ending for my BIKE!! Sniff!!Sniff!! :'-((

I am feeling sad..I dont know why?? maybe it was the dull week..

Green and wild, the stem burgeoned through,
curling and folding, spiralling and climbing,
unfazed industry, Showed this act of toiling,
putting to shame, the captain and his doomed crew

Spread its wings, in the unwelcoming earth
hairy and brown, ugly and strong
loosening the mud, reached the far depth
a task, for which gold-diggers wept,

A sky of blue and cotton clouds, so white
The Life made its way, craving for light
Grew unaware, of wooden houses and stone hearts
Minds became aware, aimed like poisoned darts

Axe-wielding, greedy, human sweat littered
around the life, so truthfully nurtured,
Tears were shed, After all, how would
it be beauty, with round dots of ringed wood?

A trek and a party!!

2004-07-12T11:40:00.000-07:00

It was a trip almost not taken, but instincts finally reigned as I embarked upon a trek to the Sahyadris with the only other person who got up at 4 am, and that was Basant.
The destination was Rajmachi, a small hilly area which houses the Fort of Rajmachi on the 2 hills of Manoranjan and Sree...something...(forgot that one). The trip began with a train ride upto Karjat after which we got into a rickshaw to get to Kondivale. It was here that the long 3-hour trek (long for people like me...) actually started. Initially we had "pakka rastas" for a while but they eventually gave way to small muddy paths through the jungle and then even these turned into nightmarish rocky, crab-infested, snake-housing uphill climbs. and yes....it had to happen..we lost our WAY!!...
We, had to then, grope through the forest for some kind of clues or even a small wood-cutter's path, but to no avail. The mad scrambles through the tall, mountain grasses had become a routine, by this time, but they eventually paid off, as we always came into a clearing after the crazy routes we usually took. It was also, at these very clearings that I would always think of giving up, but Basant managed to make up some rosy stories about the view from the top or the hot lunch awaiting us at the village up the hill and I would give in to these dreamy visions and continue to proceed towards another clearing ,before, as usual, we got lost , AGAIN!!!

After 3 long hours, the village was visible and I heaved a mighty sigh of relief but then the fort was yet to be conquered. With no strength in the limbs, I limped into one of the houses where hot tea was being served. We reserved our lunches and set upon our mission. The rainy-climb upto the hill(how many hills were there??) was worth it as the view from the top was simply breath-taking (although we had to wait a while for the clouds to clear). At the top we met these 2 wanderers (who had wandered into the wild all the way from Kalyan via Lonavala), who were also avid trekkers. It was here, that tall stories about each of their treks were voiced with much background music (kind of reminds me of Arindam). We (However!!) became good friends and after the lunch (which was praised to no extent, to the delight of the villager, who surprisingly recognised one of our dear friends) set out together through the wilderness. The climb down was (obviously) relatively easier and 3 hours later, we were at Kalyan where the two wandering wonders got down. But, seriously, they were good company. We, too, had to get down at Thane, to avoid being taken upto Vikhroli without a halt. After our 2nd Vada-pav of the day at Kunj-Vihar, we both set out for our respective destinations. I got down at Mulund for home and Basant set out for campus. That night was the 1st night of my entire vacations where I managed to sleep on the same night and get up the next day, unlike the daily night-outs till 2-3 am which is in progress right now.
The next day was important as it was the School ReUnion!!

4 years is a long time and people change. That was what I found out on the night of 11th. I have changed, too (atleast, I think so and really hopefully) I wish I have changed, otherwise, it has been a truly boring existance. As expected, no one turned up on time, but eventually, the crowd was in and alive. The noise level was gradually rising up as hi's and hello's were exchanged and groups began to be formed. After the initial squeals of suprises and laughters, the first item on the agenda ( not that there was an agenda or anything like that ) was reminiscence. A game?? was played where people remembered things (beautiful and gross, both alike) about the school. Stories poured out and mimcries were enacted which was really fun. Dinner was served and Dances followed. Wilfred and Ankit livened up the party with their dancing antics. Dispersals followed as it was already 12 am and parents had started calling up.

On a personal note, it was great having met up with old friends, and it will be so everytime I meet anyone of them. No names taken, but school friends will always be the best friends you will ever make!!

"I am gonna love you till the end,
I am gonna be your very true friend,
I am gonna share your ups and downs,
I am gonna be around!!"

This one's not an original...it is by MLTR...taken from "I am gonna be around"

2004-07-06T11:28:00.000-07:00

A lifetime ago, there was a seed,
In the hands of a child of seven,
shining in his palm like a priceless bead,
with a fragrance of hanna right from heaven

Life would be gifted to the soulless gem,
with hurried motions of muddy hands and feet,
A world of miracles and magic to hem,
tightly bound to the coat,with a cloth so neat

The brown Earth provided a porous shield,
allowed nectar and not poison for feed,
Two sprouts embarked upon a mission,
one greeted Earth, one faced solar vision

The dark chambers of the crust
weren't the safe confines of a home
but one learnt to show a blind trust
to augment a life, young and lone

A light often came in its path,
blinding one to a place of wrong doing,
but one learnt to shove off the wrath,
and lived in peace with the sweet cooing.

No more time....The entire day is spent in the lab. A lot of people are leaving the lab after having successfully completed their projects and all. A Weekend trek could happen with the lab-team, even though Sunday is the day of our grand ReUnion of the School Batch. There was a pleasant surprise today in the cabinet as I discovered a snake skin carefully tucked into one of the drawers, but as it turned out, it was kept deliberately (maybe to scare the professors away);-))

The shift to the hostel would be done (hopefully) by next wednesday. Installment transfer of all paraphernalia will commence tomorrow.

For now....just waiting to meet up with all my school friends and also a slightly embarassing incident is on the cards this Sunday...
more on that later(maybe)..

School Reunion on 11th July

2004-07-01T10:43:00.000-07:00

Well, the job thing is really taking a lot of time. All xtra-currics have taken a back seat. But then, I am enjoying the work.
I had my first presentation today. It was smooth sailing all the way. I hate to laud myself..but i am helpless. A good reco is on the cards....hmmmm..!!

The daily bus rides are becoming monotonous. I may shift back to the hostel by next week. No idea till now..

Euro 2004 isnt that interesting anymore...
I am getting bored...

The school reunion plans are taking some serious turns. It seems like it may happen after all :-)) Alternate day meetings are not exactly leading us anywhere...but the REUNION will happen.
For starters, I met up with Aditi, Gurpreet, Wilfy, Ankit, Gargi and Puneet. Arjun made a brief appearance and gave ample evidence of his complete lack of thinking with his brains...but still I like him..;-))

Just got off a conversation with Arjun, Kabir and Priya!! Kabir hasnt changed, seemingly and Arjun is even more whackier. Priya is as bubbly as ever.

AND ... the bike will be sold...for a cool Rs. 4k. A COOL BARGAIN!!

my first job

2004-06-23T23:57:00.000-07:00

I have a job now!!

I have been employed by my professor temporarily for a month for a company project. the pay --> a cool Rs. 12k + additional money for my UROP project + additional green papers for a successful completion of the job. This is indeed a great day.

YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

new hobby - bird-watching ;-)

2004-06-21T04:02:00.000-07:00

clamour, I shall always,
for a soulful device,
believing that it pays,
to follow a path, very wise

trek the hills of serenity,
walk the roads of modernity,
swim the rivers with alacrity,
nay,nay!! ride not a travesty,

I do, yes, I do bow,
to my thoughts and misfortunes,
success does shoot from a low,
and, luck comes from such godly croons

wishes come true, desires fulfilled,
prayers answered, agonies side-stepped
no, you don't follow your heart,
oh! how could you be such a cart?
Lup-Dup needs a grey poke,
like the alarm in the mart!!

It has been quite a while. Wednesday saw me in VT, doing something that I like doing best. I was haggling my way into bookie things. The day went off well with some darn good books in the bag. The alchemist gave some cool potions for my mind to canter on some lovely meadows.

Here are my favourite lines from the book...

...Two nights later, as he was getting ready to bed down, the boy looked for the star they followed every night. He thought that the horizon was a bit lower than it had been, because he seemed to see stars on the desert itself.

"It's the oasis", said the camel driver.
"Well, why don't we got there right now?" the boy asked.
"Because we have to sleep."....

The morning trek atop the mulund hills was pretty wild, literally. Huge crabs made their presence felt in a big way. The view from the top was breathtaking and the long winding path downhill had its first victim in the form of my shoe. The sole had taken a beating!!
But, the next day was even more tense. A leopard attack had killed an elderly person at the same location where we had been 24 hours earlier. The creepy part about this was that we (i.e. 3 of us) had been all by ourselves in the entire hilly area.

GRE preparation has to begin and has (I hope!!).

I have to admit (:'(...) Schumi is good, though I hate him, he is marvellous. US Grand Prix was truly amazing. SATO ROCKS!!!!!

again...in the lab

2004-06-14T02:07:00.001-07:00

YIPPEEEE!!! i went boating yesterday albeit with my old college friends. kya karoon koi "milti" nahi. :-(( but mazaa aaya.

The location :- Kachrali lake (Thane) opposite the TMC office.

Movies seen in the last few days...hmmmm..

Harry Potter:The Prisoner of Azkaban - Fantastic movie (better than the first 2 HP movies)

The Object of my affection - Jen Anniston at her best. I think this is the most sincere movie I have ever seen.
The husbands sums up the movie wonderfully well when he says "You know...Of all the men in your life, I am the only one who made any sense at all."

Attempts at enjoying Khwahish were dashed within the first 5 minutes of the movie itself. Total crap movie.

Sunday night was terrible. Michael Schumacher again storms his way into the 1st place after beginning from 6th on grid and then...easily the match of the entire tournament.
France vs. England.
I pray for the Queen and i see Jacques Chirac teasing me like i were the loser of the millennium.
Anyways, plans for a holiday trip to a hill station are on. no idea where i am going.

I suddenly realised, about 10 minutes back, that "Burn" by Deep Purple is the song of the century (atleast for me;-)))

And finally, the code is working. YIPPEEE!!

again...in the lab

2004-06-14T02:07:00.000-07:00

YIPPEEEE!!! i went boating yesterday albeit with my old college friends. kya karoon koi "milti" nahi. :-(( but mazaa aaya.

The location :- Kachrali lake (Thane) opposite the TMC office.

Movies seen in the last few days...hmmmm..

Harry Potter:The Prisoner of Azkaban - Fantastic movie (better than the first 2 HP movies)

The Object of my affection - Jen Anniston at her best. I think this is the most sincere movie I have ever seen.
The husbands sums up the movie wonderfully well when he says "You know...Of all the men in your life, I am the only one who made any sense at all."

Attempts at enjoying Khwahish were dashed within the first 5 minutes of the movie itself. Total crap movie.

Sunday night was terrible. Michael Schumacher again storms his way into the 1st place after beginning from 6th on grid and then...easily the match of the entire tournament.
France vs. England.
I pray for the Queen and i see Jacques Chirac teasing me like i were the loser of the millennium.
Anyways, plans for a holiday trip to a hill station are on. no idea where i am going.

I suddenly realised that "Burn" by Deep Purple is the song of the century (atleast for me;-)))

in the lab....

2004-06-09T03:40:00.000-07:00

Silent as it is in the lab,
the code wrecks havoc on pressing tab,
Thank God, the error, i did nab,
now, i proclaim, i ain't a scab!!

It is getting quite monotonous out here. 2000 iterations more and the code would have run successfully..(hopefully)

This is not the best day i am having. First, hardly no one turned up for the promised game of badminton. And then, an electricity cut destroys my object code. Grrrrrrrrrrrrrr

In any case, hopefully the night would be better off. have a party to attend to. I will be having fun!!

A small word as far as my bike is concerned..

yes, it is true that i am selling my bike.
and NO, it is not a piece of junk as some people would opine.

As a starting bid, i propose Rs. 4k. Anyone, interested can personally contact me...:-)

A second word of caution.. Do not watch the movie "Volcano" more than twice at one go, otherwise you could subject urselves to some nasty physical exercises at night.

buy my bike...please.. :-(

2004-06-07T10:59:00.000-07:00

Sunday began like almost no other Sunday. Well, for starters, my cousin had come over on saturday to spend the night. The entire morning was spent in playing comuter games and surprisingly, I enjoyed playing Unreal, which I had previously totally despised.
Unreal Rules!!!

And suddenly, I had this wild idea of converting my cassettes into mp3. It was a decision I later realized with much sadness that I would rue for a long time. The hissing noise wouldn't come off. I tried a thousand things (right from inserting silence to holding the tape-recorder in a slightly angled fashion which I thought was giving me a lower hissing disturbance :-((..grrrrr).

Sunday night was memorable. Mr. Bean (the entire TV Series) adorned the cable channel for 5 long hours. The laughter machine was at work again. After a good 4 hours of continous laughter, it seemed like it was well oiled for another round, which came early the next day. They repeated the telecast AGAIN!!..

Hail, O Mighty CableGuy!!

Today, as usual, off to CFD Lab...--->>

Lunch at coffee shack (of all the places)??...but i met Rishabh and we talked nonsense as usual..<>

Oh....I am looking for a buyer, one who will gladly buy my poor old kinetic. It has served me well.

--albida

i am selling my bike...(atlast)

2004-06-04T10:37:00.000-07:00

To do what your heart says,
obey your mind and its plays,
A simple task, yet was mastered by none,
ME?, i found a pinch,
am in search of the mine,
of simplicity, and its kind

This is how i work...I do (or rather attempt to do) what my mind wants me to. This is the simplest way to be simple. It is mighty tough on its own, but sadly, the easiest one , too. My efforts lie in my love and my mind. I think, this would be the perfect way to redefine simplicity.

Well...for today...work continued in the CFD lab. I am still working on the code for my simulation. Hopefully, I will complete a major chunk of it tomorrow. My infra red port is still giving me headaches. The damn thing doesnt work!!

I ,also, met my school friends today. After a long time, i went to Amol's place and baddy beckoned us back to the same place where we played almost a year back. So, overall a good day, but the next week is gonna be tough. Lot of work, and little time.

no. 1

2004-06-02T12:32:00.000-07:00

this is my first
with lots to go
and write, i must,
for the world to know

this is my turf
this is my mind
the winds will surf
in the sutures of time

this is me...literally...well..now i have a blog.Thank you!!!!

Somehow, sometimes, u feel like writing about urself, telling the world about ur life, ur truths and all the stupid gossip. So don't expect this page to be empty....There will be lots..